[ As he reaches out to touch them, their eyes don't waver from his, looking at him searchingly - for the same hints of honesty that he's looking for in them. He's admitted that all that talk had been a ruse - not that it was a convincing one, anyway - so they find themself oddly in control of the situation again. But, these days, they're not nearly so clumsy as they used to be when handed over such power by him - no, they almost accept it with grace. Almost.
Their head leans a little into his palm, and then they're sitting forward, closing the distance he'd made between them by a few inches. ]
Don't you?
[ They ask, less joking than they were before - serious, and almost sounding a little insecure. Lupin hadn't meant it, of course, but it's a simple fact that they can't help but compare themself - to the other people he'd been in love with before, the other people he's gotten close to like this. Those people, whoever they were, are out of his life now, but with each time he drew away, they found themself thinking more and more if it was because they couldn't compare. Stupid, maybe, after all the two of them have overcome to get here. But Cairngorm's life has been fraught with relationships that were unreliable at best and merely imitations at worst. Feeling like they aren't good enough, aren't doing enough comes nearly as second nature - and the smallest sign to confirm those feelings, seemingly innocuous as it may be, was enough for them to obsess over. They'd just like it if they could feel like they stand on equal footing - share what two people in love do. They want to feel sought after by the person they love more than anything, be longed for like they long for him. Surely, that'd quell this feeling.
Their hands shift from where they rest at his nape, thumbs coming to frame his jaw - gently, just as gently as they'd always touched him before they'd turned from stone.
I want to feel closer to you, is what they should say. I don't ever want to let you go — but they can't manage either. All they can manage is to tip forward until their foreheads touch, until they can kiss him again, slowly, carefully, quietly. ]
no subject
Their head leans a little into his palm, and then they're sitting forward, closing the distance he'd made between them by a few inches. ]
Don't you?
[ They ask, less joking than they were before - serious, and almost sounding a little insecure. Lupin hadn't meant it, of course, but it's a simple fact that they can't help but compare themself - to the other people he'd been in love with before, the other people he's gotten close to like this. Those people, whoever they were, are out of his life now, but with each time he drew away, they found themself thinking more and more if it was because they couldn't compare. Stupid, maybe, after all the two of them have overcome to get here. But Cairngorm's life has been fraught with relationships that were unreliable at best and merely imitations at worst. Feeling like they aren't good enough, aren't doing enough comes nearly as second nature - and the smallest sign to confirm those feelings, seemingly innocuous as it may be, was enough for them to obsess over. They'd just like it if they could feel like they stand on equal footing - share what two people in love do. They want to feel sought after by the person they love more than anything, be longed for like they long for him. Surely, that'd quell this feeling.
Their hands shift from where they rest at his nape, thumbs coming to frame his jaw - gently, just as gently as they'd always touched him before they'd turned from stone.
I want to feel closer to you, is what they should say. I don't ever want to let you go — but they can't manage either. All they can manage is to tip forward until their foreheads touch, until they can kiss him again, slowly, carefully, quietly. ]