tunasub | MISTLETOE MEME REDUX

-- Shulk! What are you doing, up at this hour?

[ her voice is playfully scolding, though considerably heavier on the scolding than the playful. It's a question that could probably be asked of Fiora, too, but her answer is fairly obvious at this point: she just doesn't need to sleep that much anymore. The cold doesn't feel half as sharp as it used to, either, which is why she's not bothered going out for a little nighttime stroll while they're camping on Valak Mountain. It's beautiful at night - perfect for clearing her head a bit. It has a bad tendency to get cramped up with nasty thoughts when she's alone at night.

Maybe it's the same for him. She hopes not. Her footsteps are heavy in the snow. ]

You'll catch cold.

[ It's probably 9S's fault that they're in this predicament.

Scratch that -- it's definitely his fault.

When he glimpsed a strange little Stubby in the distance wearing a floppy red hat and a faux white beard, he couldn't not find out what that was about. He called out a customary "2B, look!" and pointed out the anomalous Machine before starting off after it, trusting that she would follow.

The Machine disappeared into what looked like a small factory. As they neared, it became clear that the factory was being put to use: vague shapes moved back and forth mechanically in the high, dusty glass windows. Strangely, a few placid moose were tethered nearby. After circling the building, 2B and 9S determined that the only way in was through the front door. If there was a trap, they'd have to deal with it.

And thus: they had to deal with it. The entrance door locked shut behind them, and the Bearded Stubby stood in the other doorway straight ahead.

Christmas! Christmas! Tradition! Tradition!

It cried enthusiastically and threw its arms up before turning and hopping out of the room. The second door slid shut and locked with ominous finality behind it.

And so here they are in the present. The only thing in the room besides the androids and their Pods is a little sprig of some mysterious plant hanging from the ceiling directly over them. ]

[ technically, 2B was supposed to be the one in charge of their terrible twosome - 9S was just "support," after all - but in reality, she rarely opposed his suggestions if something caught his eye or someone's story piqued his interest, even if Command might not approve of letting him run free. She has a certain amount of trust in him and his abilities, his intelligence, and on top of that, a strong dislike of standing in the way of his curiosity, provided it's harmless; despite how she treats him (or tries to treat him), she still feels an obligation to let him pursue what little happiness he can glean from this planet while he still can.

So, yes, she follows after him without even really questioning it when he chases after the weirdly-dressed machine. These ones tended to display behavior that either warranted attention or destruction; his judgement wasn't wrong, she thinks. But maybe they should have thought this out more. When the doors slam shut, 2B sighs, sounding a little annoyed. ]

A trap. I knew it. [ the windows are too high for them to reach, so that method of leaving is out... ] ... What's "Christmas?"

[ sometimes he knows these things. or the Pods know these things. she sure doesn't. ]

[ When nothing immediately assaults them, 9S takes his time scanning the room. A trap it may be, but if the Machine intentionally used costuming to lure them in, then that's new behavior right there. It's worth looking deeper into... if you're 9S. ]

I've never heard of it. Pod?

[ Pod 153 offers:

Analysis: Christmas was a prominent religious and cultural holiday marking the birth of the figure Jesus Christ. Major elements included gift-giving, cold weather, and tree ornamentation. ]

Huh. Why would a Machine be interested in all that?

[ A question really for himself, because it's 2B he's talking to. ]

Edited (can't forget the kickflip) 2018-12-04 02:19 (UTC)

[ Christmas decorations are definitely not something they're well versed in, and that applies to all aspects of the holiday. Why humans would ever cut down a tree and put it in their own home, and hang fragile things from it no less makes no sense to them. Initially they thought these sort of holiday crafts were a waste of time (and to a gem, they still are), but after months and months of seeing how much effort humans put into celebrating life, they think they're starting to understand why this is all so important. That aids in them putting in some slightly above average effort to participate in the holiday cheer, even if it's just spending time together and learning something new about the abundant traditions that seem to revolve around this time of year (quite the opposite of gem culture, frankly).

This, though. This little plant hanging in a doorway, unlike anything they've seen before, is strange. And sort of ugly. They've since learned that not every plant kept around is for eating, but they can't help but wonder what this is for while standing under it, reaching up like they're about to take it down to look at it closer. ]

What is this supposed to be...

[ That's a rhetorical question, mused aloud but not necessarily meant for him, who is by their side as he frequently is these days. They're here to be near him, after all. ]

[ yeah, that explanation does literally almost nothing. They don't appear to be in any kind of danger at the moment, at least, which she's thankful for. She crosses her arms, looking somewhere between pensive and frustrated, as much as her half-covered expression ever belies anything. ]

I doubt there's any meaning behind what they're doing.

[ squashing discussion immediately, as usual... yet she doesn't move to immediately cut the plant down or start circling the room looking for an exit. She's found herself more and more pliable to the Machines' weird requests lately. If they do... whatever they want them to do, maybe they can get some kind of reward, even if it's only information. It's better than fighting, at least. ]

Is this supposed to be the tree?

[ what are they supposed to put on it, then...... it's so small. And upside-down. ]

[ Her response is about par the course, so he gently... ignores it. Not that he doesn't value her opinion; she's just rarely interested in these things, and he doesn't expect her to be. Her comment on the tree is sufficiently distracting though, and he joins her in staring up at it. ]

It looks... kind of pathetic. There's nothing for us to decorate it with, either.

[ And why is it on the ceiling if they're supposed to do something with it? Either the Machine's got a few cogs knocked loose or they're missing something here. ]

Pod, what's the deal?

[ Again, Pod 153 chimes in evenly.

Analysis: That is an obligate hemiparasitic plant commonly referred to as mistletoe. Christmas tradition dictates that any two people standing underneath mistletoe must kiss, or else bad luck will befall them.

9S's pulse rate immediately skyrockets. He sputters. ]

WHAT?! What's that got to do with some religious fart's birthday?!

[ He wouldn't be half as bothered if he and 2B weren't standing directly under the thing... ]

Edited 2018-12-04 10:32 (UTC)

[ Lupin does have a bit of a soft spot for Christmas. When he was younger, it was like a fantastic dream that was always just slightly out of reach - he might have been shivering and huddled in a dirty alleyway trying to escape the snow, but he could look in the windows and see the lights and imagine that maybe he'd be in there one day instead of out here. Now, old and capable enough to realize that dream, he can't help but want to decorate like his younger self would want.

Cairngorm's willingness to help is a pleasant surprise - he can tell they're actually trying, which is both cute and unprecedented. So, naturally, he meets their enthusiasm (muted as it may be) with even more of his own. And maybe a slight change of plans. When they point out the mistletoe, he grins, leaning one elbow against the wall next to it. ]

This! This is mistletoe. Holiday decoration. [ he answers cheerfully, gesturing to the plant, as if he's not explaining a devious trap he definitely set expressly for Cairngorm to walk into. ] There's a funny tradition with it if you get caught standing under it. I'll bet you can't guess what it is.

Edited 2018-12-05 02:12 (UTC)

[ For now, they have no reason to think this was a trap at all - just more weird stuff that they don't quite understand. Still, their expression falls a bit flat at that, quitting reaching up for it since it's clearly supposed to stay hung given his explanation. ]

What? Of course I'm not gonna be able to guess it. [ An astute observation on his part, really. As usual, even if they're being a bit more pliant than they usually might, it seems like they have no intention of playing along or into his hand (intentionally). ] How could I when none of these traditions make sense to begin with...

[ Not that that inherently makes them bad. Just silly. They're purpose-oriented as always. Even though they're not putting forth an answer themself, they do meet his eyes a bit expectantly, wanting an answer if it's supposedly so funny. They highly doubt that it really is that interesting, and will definitely let him know if it isn't. ]

[ that grin turns a touch more mischievous; he punctuates his sentence with a light tap to Cairngorm's nose with his index finger. ] I'll give you a hint: you'll need me to do it.

[ could he just tell them? Yes. But he knows they're shy, so he may as well ease them into it -- although, mostly, he's doing it because he thinks they're cute when they're grumpy and embarrassed. His habit of teasing them has only gotten worse since he made his affections known. ]

[ Their nose wrinkles and they turn their face slightly, but it's quite the mild reaction in comparison to eight or nine months ago when they might have violently swatted away at his hand, uncaring if they struck him. It's in the small things, with Cairngorm. ]

I told you, I don't know...

[ Something they need him to do, that's some tradition triggered by this plant. Hmm. Very vague. Even his little mischievous smile doesn't lead them to think anything intimate of this; they just lean their shoulder against the wall with arms crossed, looking to the side in thought. What's Lupin good for, that they wouldn't be able to do on their own? ]

Steal something from someone?

[ Like... being forced to play a prank?? ]

[ that is... a weird guess in any other context, but Lupin's kind of happy about it, honestly... they indirectly acknowledged that he was actually good at something!! It really is the small things with Cairngorm. He chuckles. ]

Mmm... Close! No, actually, that might count. I'll give it to you.

[ although he'd like to think it wouldn't be stealing in this case. ]

Around Christmastime, you hang sprigs of mistletoe in doorways and arches. And, traditionally, if you get caught under it with someone else... [ his hand moves to rest along their neck, drawing his thumb lightly along their jawline as he leans in just slightly, conspiratorial. ] You're not to leave until you share a kiss with them.

[ it wouldn't be the first time they've met a machine that seemed direly in need of a cognitive tune-up - and, after hearing the truth, she wishes it was that simple. 2B makes a choked noise somewhere between a grunt and a gasp, ostensibly from surprise and irritation.

It would have been better if the machines just cornered the two of them in here for an ambush. This is worse. Her fists clench, anxious, and she turns to her own Pod. ]

Pod, look for structural weaknesses in this room.

Acknowledged. Beginning scan.

[ it buzzes off to begin investigating the perimeter. From the outside, it likely appears that she's simply disgusted at the Machines' suggestion here; she'd like for it to look that way, at least. The reality is that she's terrified. She can't do that. Not with him. She doesn't have the right, and she doesn't have the strength of heart to put up with the aftermath, either. 2B avoids looking his way, doing her best to pretend to be focusing on -- anything else. ]

[ As smooth as that delivery was, all he gets, even when he draws in a little closer, is their skeptical expression. ]

...Nice try.

[ He is probably teasing them because they don't know what it actually is, right? A little trick to get them to kiss him first? That's the impression they get, based on how he's always trying to make them embarrassed. That has to be his motive here. And they won't fall for it this time!! ]

What is it actually for?

[ 9S's embarrassed panic makes way for a more logical kind of panic when he hears 2B's command. He sidesteps back into her line of sight, and his hands shoot up in appeal. ]

Whoa, hey! That's a bit drastic, don't you think? I get how you feel, 2B, but we can't just go busting down the building on a whim.

[ Preservation of the city for humanity aside, the civil engineering units would probably heap complaints about it on the Commander. Which would then translate to Operator 21O heaping complaints on 9S...

It's hard to justify breaking down a wall to avoid something ultimately harmless.

It is harmless... right?

One of his hands fidgets with the strap of his bag. His pulse rate might as well be a sustained vibration now; he feels fit to combust with what he's about to say. ]

Look, what if... what if we gave it a shot?

No, no, no, I'm serious! That's the tradition! Ask Lottie, she'll tell you the same thing.

[ this was well within expectations for a response from Cairngorm, even if his response sounds hurried... It does sound like something he'd make up. He can't deny that. Sigh!! The difficulties of being a dashing rogue 24/7. ]

[ There's a beat, while they watch for some sign of fibbing. But, none comes. In fact, this answer is a little more earnest and hurried than usual. So, they huff out a little sigh, a slight crease easing into their brow. ]

Oh, I get it. So you led me over here on purpose...

[ They were still partially right, and thus their suspicions were valid. These sorts of little pranks used to be met with them completely writing him off, but— well, they've always been weak to giving in to those they're close to, whatever the influence.

Uncrossing their arms, they rest a hand on one of his shoulders. ]

You didn't have to lead me over to some stupid plant, you know.

[ They're mumbling, because they're finally having the sort of delayed embarrassed reaction he was expecting. It is embarrassing talking about all this stuff in such a direct way. In their opinion, if he wanted to kiss them, he should have just done it wherever, instead of putting them on the spot like this. ]

[ she stops in her tracks when he reappears in front of her - and, not for the first time (not by a long shot), she's thankful her goggles hide the way her eyes dart away from him. She knew he'd do this. It's not like he's wrong. Blowing their way out of this room would be detrimental in the long run, even assuming it doesn't make the rest of the building come down on their heads in the first place. From his perspective, she can imagine how absurd her reaction must seem. Maybe he's thinking she's being shy.

He's always like this. ]

Are you serious?

[ 2B can see him fidgeting nervously. Maybe if she didn't have the prospect of completing her mission for the 49th time looming vaguely in her future, she'd be doing the same thing. But she does her best to shove any of those feelings away, out of sight, like she's trained herself to do, and schools her voice into the most exasperated disbelief she can manage. ]

[ to be fair to Cairngorm, he's very good at lying. On the bright side, he's actually telling the truth this time, so their deductions are correct. Lupin looks rather pleased with himself, even as they call him out for his conniving - he has half a mind to call them out for believing him so quickly, but he doesn't want to spoil the moment, regardless of how cute and huffy they get when he points out their little signs of trust and affection.

A bigger target just presented itself, anyway. ]

Are you saying I've got free reign to kiss you whenever I want? That's an awful lot of power to give me.

[ the weight of their hand on his shoulder makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and it's not just the cold - he hasn't quite gotten to them reaching out and touching him of their own volition yet, and it still gives him a pleasant thrill when they do. ]

No.

[ That much comes out blunt and decisive, even if they're pursing their lips slightly, looking down in half defiance and half embarrassment. Of course they're going to deny that. Letting Lupin kiss them whenever would be too dangerous... they just know he'd do it purposefully at times they aren't expecting it. Still, their other hand comes to the fabric near his collar, giving it a little tug in reprimand. ]

I was saying that you didn't have to go through the effort of tricking me. That's all...

[ Framing it as a waste of effort on his part is all they can come up with at the moment to deflect. They don't want to hear whatever corny thing he's going to inevitably say in response to their flustered mumbling, so they're fine with kissing him if only to make him Stop Talking. Slowly, not more than a beat after they've finished speaking, they pull him down, tilting their head up so they can press their lips to his in a chaste kiss - of course, gentle as they always are when they show affection to him. It's not often that they initiate (they're aware of it, he's probably even more aware of it), but when they do, they're always careful about it. ]

MISTLETOE MEME REDUX

Arsène Lupin / Code: Realize

2B / nier: automata

Mizuki Ioti / CharadeManiacs

Hikage / Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly

Fiora / Xenoblade

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backflips in... SORRY THIS IS LATE BOBINO

KICKFLIPS EXCITEDLY I'M HERE FOR YOU SIBSAN

kermit gun........

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beegun........

how dare you make me sad about baby lupin one tag in

I Gotta

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