KOROSENSEI | 殺せんせー (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tentaculled) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tunasub2015-08-12 01:10 am
tentaculled) wrote in tunasub2015-08-12 01:10 am
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[ Sometimes, in between teaching a classroom full of rowdy (but dear) children, creating study guides, grading papers, dodging assassination attempts, and travelling the world in quick half-hour sessions, Korosensei does find time to sleep. He's not sure he needs to sleep anymore, in all honesty, but he does, even though it feels like he should be filling every minute of every hour with things, the way they're slipping through his fingers.
Or his tentacles, rather.
Sometimes, he dreams about things from the present: nonsensical dreams about his students, or food, or people and places he's seen around the Earth - the icy plains of the arctic, flower-filled fields in South Africa, busy market streets in China. Other times, he'll have dreams about the past, when he was the God of Death, about blood on his hands, black clouds and gunfire, and the sterile fluorescent lights in a single-room white chamber. Those are unpleasant.
And sometimes, if he's really unlucky, he'll have dreams about her.
It's a normal enough day in the old school building - a hot, late summer day after school, when he's finished tutoring and is cheerfully slithering down the hall towards the teacher's lounge, humming out-of-tune to himself. He opens the door. He freezes. ]
-- Nu...
[ And she's sitting there like nothing ever happened. ]
Or his tentacles, rather.
Sometimes, he dreams about things from the present: nonsensical dreams about his students, or food, or people and places he's seen around the Earth - the icy plains of the arctic, flower-filled fields in South Africa, busy market streets in China. Other times, he'll have dreams about the past, when he was the God of Death, about blood on his hands, black clouds and gunfire, and the sterile fluorescent lights in a single-room white chamber. Those are unpleasant.
And sometimes, if he's really unlucky, he'll have dreams about her.
It's a normal enough day in the old school building - a hot, late summer day after school, when he's finished tutoring and is cheerfully slithering down the hall towards the teacher's lounge, humming out-of-tune to himself. He opens the door. He freezes. ]
-- Nu...
[ And she's sitting there like nothing ever happened. ]
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She smiles now, towards him, moving to rise to her feet and smooth her skirt down. ]
Good work today.
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[ normally, this is the point where one would realize something is wrong - but she really looks just like he remembers, right down to the stupid outfit. Korosensei prides himself on his flexibility, his having a countermeasure for anything thrown at him, but he has nothing for this. If she was here to assassinate him, she could shoot him through the heart right now with no trouble.
Well, maybe she already did, in a way. He stands there in the doorway like a big dump octopus with his big dumb grin unchanged, completely paralyzed. Because, for once, he really, truly has no idea what he should do. ]
... Is it really you?
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[ Wait, instead of having a grand and beautiful moment, she's going to look down at herself, flustered. ] It is? I mean, it is! I haven't changed that much, have I? I don't think my hair's grown out, or I've put on weight--
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No, no, no! That's not it! You look fine! Your fashion sense is even worse than I remembered, but that aside, you look normal-- no, better than normal--
[ mr. no filter immediately sputters out an honest answer with flailing arms, completely disregarding the situation. He may be in shock, but he doesn't want to make her feel bad! That's the opposite of what he wants to do! He thinks.
He doesn't know what to think. ]
-- You look... healthy. [ because he still remembers her last moments so vividly that it might have happened yesterday. ]
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You've changed from a god of death into a proper teacher... I knew it would suit you better.
[ Even if he's not an ikemen any longer-- ]
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when she touches him, he stiffens up right away, but it's undoubtedly not due to disgust or anything like that; it's just surprise. Her hand feels real. Is this really happening? Logic says no, but he's become prone to flights of fancy ever since these tentacles took him over. That, and he'd really like for it to be happening. He doesn't ever talk about it because he doesn't want to talk about it - but he misses her, and often. He teaches for himself, but he's especially teaching for her. Because he didn't want her death to have meant nothing. Because he wants to pay her back for everything she gave him, at least a little. ]
... Do you really think that? [ his voice is hopeful. he almost doesn't know how to talk to her. He was almost a different person when he knew her. Would she like him less like this? - a foolish, childish worry that even surprises him when he realizes it's there. ] I'm only a rookie teacher, but I've been trying my best.
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[ Then again, she'd been far more comfortable talking about herself with an assassin-turned-guinea-pig than she had with her own fiancee... well. No need to dwell on it now. Any future she might have hoped for or resigned herself to has ended, but there's no bitterness on her face when she slowly draws her hand back from his own cheery countenance. Only a wistful sort of fondness. ]
But I'm not the one to ask. Just look at your class. Those children... because of you, they've all changed, for the better. They've grown so much, in strength and confidence.
If my death brought that about, I'm glad... it brought you to them.
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Her comment about being glad for her death is difficult. Too difficult for him to agree or disagree with. Fortunately, it's not his job to do so. The color of his face pales just barely, skin turning somewhat blue, but he tries to suppress that, too. ]
If you're satisfied, then I'm satisfied, too. Your approval is the highest praise I could ask for, after all. Yukimura-sensei. [ the name is used teasingly, but there's honesty there, too - she taught him everything he knows. ] It's been an enjoyable time for me, as well. The year's been going by so very quickly.
[ his time is ticking, he knows. but he thinks spending it this way is far better than what he would have done otherwise. ]
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... His tentacles have spread their influence to his skin, haven't they? Her expression turns pensive. ]
Then... you're really happy?
[ It's all she truly wishes for. For her sister to have found her own happiness, and not bitterness and loss after her passing. For her students to thrive. And for this man to find a reason to smile. ]
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I am.
[ and that's the truth. Before he met her, he doesn't think he'd ever really been happy. And before he began teaching his class, he doesn't think he'd ever lived happily. He'd walked a path of isolation, resignation, bitterness towards the world; only now, in his final hours, has he been able to see that there was another road he could have taken, one full of hope and compassion. A world where people can change - a world where people can be saved. If only he'd noticed it sooner. ]
Those children are all bright, wonderful people. Being able to help them even a little is a greater joy than I deserve. [ he's sinned a lot in his life. He doesn't regret most of it. He only wishes he'd known better earlier. His wide grin and beady eyes are hard to read, but there's little doubt he's being honest. ] You gave me that happiness, Yukimura-san.
[ it's uncharacteristic of him to be serious for so long, but there's nothing he could be more serious about than this. As he finishes his sentence, one of his arms lifts up; gently, he takes one of her hands in his much-bigger grasper. His "hands" are rubbery and a little sticky, and undoubtedly very destructive - now, however, his touch is perfectly delicate, and possibly familiar. Those tiny eyes of his narrow into happy slits. ] There is something I never got to tell you... Thank you.
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You don't need to thank me. I'm just as grateful that I was given the chance to meet you. [ And because of it, her class was in good hands. He was in good hands.
Really, there's no reason to linger, and it's why she slowly, gradually starts to become a little more opaque. This... it's fine like this. He'll be all right. ]
this is late sorry... murders happened
Of course, he knew this would happen. He knew, he knew - he keeps repeating that, but it doesn't make him feel better. His skin pales into blue unconsciously, and the tentacle around her hand squeezes a little tighter. ]
I believe that should be this Sensei's line. [ even if he tries to be light-hearted... he sounds a little choked up. He's certainly a far cry from the stony-faced God of Death. ] I wish that you could be there to teach them with me. Surely, you'd enjoy it... That assassination classroom.
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[ She sighs it out, almost reprovingly, but it gets her to look at him. There it is, that honest response from his skin, a blue that makes her heart feel just a bit tighter in her chest. He will be fine, she knows that, due to his own strength and the children he's teaching...
But this isn't easy. Truthfully, Aguri doesn't want to leave. If she could stay, see her sister again, stand alongside this man and help her class to grow...
But, no. She no longer has a place here, and he's taken that place admirably. It's more than she ever could have asked for, but tears prickle at her eyes anyway. ]
But I would have liked to see how things continue to go from here... sensei.
[ Whatever his name is now, at least that title is properly his. ]
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Though, apparently, she has. Or, at least, that's what his unconscious brain is desperately wishing for. Her approval. Strangely, he's not embarrassed by that at all. ]
Nyuwah...! Don't cry! [ you'll make him cry! Except he practically already is. Being called sensei by her is like receiving a blessing. Nonetheless, his other tentacle reaches up to her face, bulbous fingers dabbing at her tears with surprising delicacy. ] ... There are always walls between us, Yukimura-san. But we'll see each other again soon, I promise.
[ because, no matter what, he'll be joining her in a few months. ]
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And blubber a little more, she's kind of sentimental right now. ] ... s-say that. I don't want to see you where I am, for a very long time.
[ Even though she knows as well as he does, of his death sentence... still. While he's alive, while he still draws breath, there's still hope for him. She'll continue to believe that. ]
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[ the last thing he wants to do is make her cry more, but... well, it's the truth. It's actually the most comforting way of looking at it that he has. He's not sure if he believes in any afterlife or anything like that; the idea of being reunited with her in some form, even if it's just in oblivion, is comforting by itself. He supposes she wouldn't be fond of that way of thinking, either, for the same reasons. ]
... I'm sorry. [ it's all he can say, really. He's not going to lie to her. Despite the ever-present grin on his face, he's certainly not pleased about it, either - his skin is a melancholy blue, and there's a sadness in his eyes - but he won't lie. ] Please don't cry. You should be smiling when you talk to me.
[ like it used to be. He lets himself wipe away her tears - or soak them up, really, with how his skin is - for another second or two before he lets go of her. It's only for a moment, though; in the next instant, his limbs are reaching around her, gently pulling her against him in an embrace. It feels both right and embarrassing all at once; the old him could have hugged her easily, if it had been possible, but the current God of Death - the current Korosensei - wasn't nearly as aloof and controlled. The tentacles were tapped into his every feeling, amplifying them. Before, he hadn't even realized how dear to him she was until it was too late. Now, those emotions are almost overwhelming - shameful, even. ]
B-besides, you'll make me cry, too...! Your cool image of me will be ruined...
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She didn't want to see him join her. Not like this. A man like him... deserved more happiness than the world had been able to give him, and now that he's finally where he belongs... she wants him to be able to stay there.
Right now, though... Aguri selfishly soaks in the sensation of being held, even if it's by a giant octopus. He's still very much the man she'd gotten to know, even if he's changed-- for the better, of course. Her own arms hardly hesitate, before she's returning the embrace, as much as she can manage. Her arms are nearly see-through now. ]
I still think you're... very cool, actually.
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More than anything, he misses that. He's been blessed with a classroom full of wonderful children and dependable coworkers, all of whom he's happy to call friend - but he's missing her. Someone that's willing to look at him just as himself, no matter that he's the god of death or a dangerous monster or anything else. ]
... As usual, you're too nice for your own good... [ now he's definitely crying; he's glad she can't see his face while he's holding her like this. Believe it or not, he still wants to retain his dignity, even while he's a yellow octopus man. In front of her, at least. His arms tighten around her, but they feel more like they're passing through her than holding her close. ] I... want to stay at your side, but I can't leave yet... Will you wait for me a little longer?
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The time she has with him is frail and short as it is. ]
I'll wait, [ she assures him now, doing her best to make her wavering voice steady. ] And I know you'll have even more to tell me, about all of the adventures you've had and the people you've looked at.
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[ it's not like he expected her to say otherwise, but her words are reassuring nonetheless in a purely emotional way. His logical mind can't confirm for him that he'll see her again, but his heart believes. For now, he just tries to memorize the feeling of holding her like this. Not that he needs to make much of an effort. It's the first time he's done so - he doubts he'll forget, even if it's only a dream.
After a few more seconds, he pulls back, however, resting his tentacles on her shoulders. It won't be much longer. He wants to see her face again before she disappears. ]
We have a lot to talk about, after all.
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She hopes, if he does remember anything, it will be that she wished for his happiness. ]
... I'll see you again, Sensei.
[ And, with a brighter smile, she's suddenly gone. ]