tunasub | OPEN POST 2019

[ As usual, here's where it'd be funny to score a win against Lupin's ego, or at least to feel triumphant that he seems bothered over their comment. And they do feel triumphant, not that they show an ounce of it on their disinterested expression. They merely quirk a brow, reaching into their uniform. ]

I wouldn't give that to you if I had it. Lottie needs it. [ She has way more hair than Lupin... instead, what they pull out is a pair of small, wrapped candies, deep amber in color. (They're caramels!) ] Anyway— it's candy. Or something.

[ Or at least, that's what they've deduced... what kind, they aren't sure, only that none of their housemates want it or can physically eat it. And it was a good excuse to give Lupin something, and they can't imagine giving them to anyone else human, unless they do so in as crude and impersonal of a way as possible. Unfortunately, he is the best candidate to receive these, and even more unfortunately, they wanted an excuse to come here just to talk with him again, even if it was only for a few minutes. They can't let themself indulge in the over-attachment they have to him fully, but bending the rules for just a single day is alright, especially when they're afraid of what might happen to him whenever the other shoe drops with the mirror business. They want to cling on to the ease of their conversations, preserve the person that he is in their memory every chance they can wring out of this town.

Those sensitive thoughts towards him are what's on the inside. On the outside, they toss the candies to him aloofly, knowing he has the aptitude to catch them. ]

I don't know what they are. But Phos and I can't eat them. [ a beat. ] Give them to someone else if you want - I don't care.

[ On one hand, it's totally sensible that they'd give preferential treatment to the human they live with. On the other hand, he's still considering the fact that Cairngorm apparently has opinions on his appearance, and the way they treat him in general has become a topic of great importance to him as of late, so now Lupin's wondering where he falls on their rankings of the humans in town. How much do they actually like him? More or less than the roommate...?

This would all be a lot easier to suss out with a human girl - but, God help him, he really enjoys the challenges of their relationship. It's full of surprises - such as the fact that they're throwing him candy right now. As they predict, he catches them easily, even though he was leaning against the wall a moment ago. He rolls them in his hand, briefly, looking them over, then glances up at Cairngorm again, an eyebrow raised. ]

And Lottie doesn't need these?

[ At that, they only shake their head, the crease in their brow deepening. ]

She doesn't want them.

[ That's all they'll leave on the topic, because as far as they're concerned, the candies were in their house for long enough without her asking to have them. That means she doesn't want them or need them, at least in Cairngorm's mind. Candy's not really a fulfilling food, either, they don't think - so what does it matter? From what they've gathered, she tries not to eat a lot of "sweets," either, not that they've cared to investigate the topic of "what foods different humans like" further. ]

And I don't either. So take them, or give them away.

[ and obviously... giving people things you don't want is probably the easiest way to make it seem impersonal. Probably. Cairngorm is good at acting like they don't care, which they're sure to exude the strongest of auras of during this exchange. Their expression remains disinterested and indifferent, even when they meet his questioning look. ]

[ here he was hoping they'd crack a little when he pointed out the other human they could have impersonally handed these off to... shame. He chuckles under his breath, then tucks the candies into a pocket, returning to leaning against the doorframe. ]

Very thoughtful. Thank you kindly.

[ dryly amused... Cairngorm is something else sometimes. ]

Get that as a quest reward, did you?

[ Here, they just cross their arms, frowning and averting their eyes. They seem... almost defensive - like they don't want to get into the details. Predictably, Cairngorm would like to give away as little detail as possible about where these candies came from and why they decided to hand them off to him of all people. The truth is they've had these for some time and only now have decided to give them to him, a fact they're sure would give him too many context clues about any meaning behind them deciding now of all times to gift them. ]

Does it matter? Just be grateful that I gave it to you.

[ Grumpy and deflecting as always... with the treats handed off and no book in sight, they make motions to leave his room, aiming to breeze past him at the doorway. They take a look at his expression to gauge his reaction, but otherwise, keep their eyes forward. They've accomplished pretty much everything they set out to do by coming here (stealing a visit with him under the guise of an excuse near the top of the list), so now it's time for the next most important thing: escaping. Without him getting on their case, preferably. ]

I'll get going. So you can build your "glider," or whatever.

[ at that, he blinks, looking somewhere between surprised and disappointed. He kind of wants to get in their way to stop them, but that feels just a little too aggressive. Cairngorm is delicate, after all. So he settles for the milder option. Lupin frowns, lifting his back away from the wall and standing up a little straighter. ]

-- So soon? You only just got here.

[ it's not like he's going to need the glider anytime soon, as far as he knows; it's difficult to use in cold weather like this, anyway. He's sure it's just an excuse - a convenient reason for them to leave so they can go back to avoiding him. ]

[ His idea works, because they do hesitate, an action they instantly regret after they see his disappointed expression. He's really that sad over them leaving? They feel a pang of guilt, unintentionally, for their words and for trying to avoid him and for all the confusing feelings they're having. Maybe they're reading into things, and he's just sad to see them brush him off. The ache they feel stays for longer than they know it should, though. A silence hangs between them for a moment, just long enough to be too long for any normal lapse in conversation between two friends. ]

You're busy. [ They insist, averting their eyes from him. ] I'm... busy.

[ Cairngorm finally falters, their brows creasing just slightly, the pause between their words not adding very much credibility to them. Why? They usually have no problem acting when they need to, but something about his dejection and the lengths he's gone to for them as of late are making them feel heavy, and it makes them not want to be cold to him if they don't have to. He's the only one who treats them warmly, afterall. ]

[ this does feel like something that wouldn't happen between two perfectly platonic friends; Lupin inches ever closer to being convinced that he's not imagining feelings from their side. But, as always, he refrains, reminding himself that Cairngorm's self-esteem is at rock bottom and they aren't even used to having friends of their own - assuming too much is dangerous. ]

Busy, huh...

[ he's obviously skeptical, and he's only being skeptical out of politeness; he knows it's not true. Cairngorm has absolutely nothing to be busy with, considering they don't even need to gather food and water like everyone else. For a moment, he pauses, looking like he's considering something in his head. ]

Say, Cairn... You're not upset with me, are you? [ he'd assumed they were avoiding him out of shyness, but, once again, he decides he probably shouldn't assume. ] If I did something, you can tell me.

[ Looking at his expression while he says what he does only makes them feel guilty. Yeah, they guess they should have guessed that Lupin would try to come up with some sort of an explanation for why they've been trying to keep their distance, and they guess it's obvious that he'd think it's because of what happened at the Harvest Festival, how he kept joking about wanting to see their smile at his birthday, how they'd let themself express, just less than vaguely that they'd be lonely if this mirror business ends up poorly for him. They avert their eyes to the floor, frowning.

If I was upset with you, would I go through the trouble of coming here? Don't be stupid. ]

... It's not you.

[ Cairngorm knows exactly what they should say to steer him off their path, exactly how they should emote and change their body language to ward him away and convince him beyond a doubt that there's not anything deeper going on between this lull in interaction, that it's just disinterest and apathy on their part. They know, but they find themself answering otherwise, anyway, shamefully, regretfully. Even if they do know the rational course of action here - detaching themself - they just don't have it in them to do it, not when he seems so disappointed by not seeing them. They feel desperate to be liked and wanted and cherished by him, yearning deeply to be special to him in any way - and him acting this way proves that they are, somehow, right? But that's exactly why they're equally desperate to get away. Nothing good will come from being close to him. Nothing at all.

Their expression is pinched, frustrated, but their eyes read somber, behind their furrowed brows and tightened lips. ]

There's nothing to tell you about, so... [ They insist, torn between wanting to reassure him that he didn't do anything wrong and wanting not to delve further into this. It's the truth, too - there's nothing that he's done to upset them that they can even lie about. ] Just forget it. You really do have more important things to be thinking about.

[ the conflict is plain to see in their fleeing eyes and wrinkled expression. Should Lupin feel hopeful or discouraged? He's leaning towards hopeful, because Cairngorm rarely spends so much effort on things they don't care about. (Inwardly, he sees himself here, observing and balancing every little thing they do as if it's the most important thing in the world, and he can't help but laugh inside at the silliness of it - he does have it bad, doesn't he, for this rude, boyish pixie with hard words and soft eyes. But Lupin's matured far past the point of feeling ashamed about his affections, whoever they may fall on.) At "more important things," he furrows his brow, crossing his arms once again. ]

You really think that glider is more important to me than you are? [ there's a dryness to his tone - obviously, he knows they weren't being that specific, but he can't help pulling back the other excuse they just tried. ] You're a dear friend - I say there's nothing more important than that in this whole town.

[ a beat; he tilts his head, giving them a small smile - an earnest one, this time, a little vulnerable. He's being serious. The business at the fair might have put something strange between them and irritated them more than he realized; he's quick to remind them that they're friends first and foremost. That won't change. ]

Well, far be it from me to keep you here against your will. But don't be a stranger. I like seeing you, remember?

[ They hate how they feel a little hopeful at his words, at the implication that they could be something more important than anything else. That's what they've always wanted, afterall - in the scope of their life that is. To be chosen first. They're sure he's only saying as much as he would to any of his "friends," though. Being his "friend" should be good enough for them, even if they can't deny the presence of a little bit of disappointment thinking that that's all they are.

What else would they be to him, though...? ]

I know that already. You said that before...

[ I don't need a reminder, they think - his admission of that just a week or so prior has been clawing at them enough as it stands. Does him liking to see them mean they should try to see him more, or less? They lean towards the latter, because it'll make things less painful for them both in the end. The end is always in their sights when it comes to how they think of their relationship with him, hanging over them like a dark cloud. Seeing him more, seeing him less, it doesn't matter what they pick - there will always be a time when they won't get a choice anymore, and he'll be gone for good.

And they think they'll just let the choice get made for them, whenever it does. They've already admitted to themself (and discretely to him) that they'll miss him when he's gone - it's almost all they think about when they see him, especially seeing his earnest, honest, kind smile. Seeing anything good in him just reminds them they'll have to let it go eventually. The thought crossing their mind makes their eyes press shut for a moment. Taking the steps forward to reach the doorway, they wait for him in the threshold, as if inviting him to walk them out. ]

I just... didn't know you were expecting to see me so much.

[ A part of it sounds almost apologetic, as if they're admitting some unspoken fault to their avoidance of him. ]

Well, a reminder doesn't hurt.

[ he continues watching their expression carefully, trying to prise some additional clues about their feelings out of it. At the very least, he's certain they aren't mad at him; if they had been, they would have been clear on that point. Obvious, now that he thinks about it, but now there's no doubt in his mind. They're definitely feeling some sort of way over him. Lupin wishes he could help. As always, he hates seeing them struggle. Considering he's the problem, though, there's not a chance they'll let him in on it. Especially if the problem is that they've got feelings they don't know what to do with. (In the end, he settles on "hopeful.")

Tucking his hands into his pockets, he walks back over towards them, taking the cue easily, though he's still somewhat reluctant. Damn their inability to eat or drink. If they were a human, it'd be easy to rope them into a polite afternoon chat that way; coming up with excuses for a gem is considerably harder. ]

There are only so many people in town. When someone's not around, it's easy to start missing them. Especially a someone as lovely and intriguing as yourself. [ of course, all this is internal; the brief, apologetic blip of uncertainty has already disappeared, and he's back to charming. ]

[ That gives them pause, and one of their hands comes to hold their arm, brushing up it awkwardly. Their eyes wander back to him behind them, before they turn forward again, seeming dodgy. ]

I don't know about "lovely."

[ They huff, forehead wrinkling and face coloring, just slightly, a dusting of pink coming into the high points of their cheeks. Feeling it, they stay determined to stay in front of him, and to not look back, not wanting him to see any evidence of his effect on them - one part about their expression they can't control. As conflicted as they feel about coming here like this, there's no denying how gratified they feel to receive praise and some sort of acknowledgement from him of their worth. But, just as they re-affirmed to themself moments ago, they know it's likely he only means it because the "small" amount of people around makes it easy to notice if they're absent. "Intriguing," too, makes them remember that they're a strange, otherworldly creature to him - him being interested by them is expected, especially as jewel thief.

They don't hesitate at the top of the stairs, keeping their eyes cast down as they start the descent. ]

You're acting like you haven't seen me in ten years.

You're acting like it's some surprise I'd miss you when you're not around, [ he retorts, not missing a beat. Cairngorm... might not be wrong, but he doesn't seem particularly ashamed by it, to no one's surprise. He follows after them, hoping the stairs don't finally give out, as he usually does when Cairngorm's walking down them. ] I do need you. My ego's probably grown a few sizes without you to put me in my place.

[ it's fond teasing, not any actual criticism. (Lupin's learned to consider their nitpicking cute or a sign that they care... usually.) They're lucky this time; he doesn't see their blush. That might be lucky for him, too - he'd have to start overthinking again. ]

Edited 2020-05-26 06:44 (UTC)

Is that what you want? Someone to deflate your ego?

[ They ask with a sigh, frowning and keeping their face firmly forward as the color in their cheeks slowly fades. So, he really does miss them, for one reason or another. Needing them is a joke, they think, but to be missed is still something rare and valuable. ]

You say that like it wasn't overblown before. Nothing I do or say keeps you from acting like a reckless fool, besides...

[ When they reach the bottom of the stairs, they're still refusing to look back at him, meandering back over to where they'd left the stack of books. It's a little... weird - faintly ticklish to just harmlessly banter like this, dancing around the admission that he wants them around and that they're still worried over his "reckless" actions, enough so that they won't drop the topic. It feels secretly intimate, somehow, these interactions they have that linger too long and never progress far enough into addressing why the tension is like this between them. No, they always fall back into the patterns of semi-playful banter, instead. Just as he's watching and weighing all their actions and words carefully, they do the same, looking for signs that they're different to him than others - they know they shouldn't, but they can't help it now that they're here. ]

[ and he stops at the end of the stairs, as well, resting against the banister casually while they collect their things. So they really are going to leave... Saying more on it than he already has would be gauche, so he doesn't; still, he'd been holding onto a bit of hope they'd change their mind. ]

And yet, you never stop trying.

[ a mischievous, knowing smile. ]

That's how I know I can count on you.

[ that's how he knows they do care, more than anything - what he'd first felt was a frustrating lack of faith is now more like a subtle clue to how they're really feeling. ]

OPEN POST 2019

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