Entry tags:
(houseki no kuni spoilers)
[ There's a lot to process.
They think that more has happened today, and this past month or so, than has ever happened before in their entire existence - all 1000 years of it. Phos's return. Phos's plea. Phos's destruction. The words that mint-green gem carved into their chest all those summers ago never seemed more false and far away than they did when Cinnabar held a wooden box full of shards from their face in their hands, their gloves pulled carefully, gingerly tight so as not to hurt them even more. Cinnabar hadn't believed them. But Cinnabar had never wanted to believe someone more in their whole life. Now that belief is literally in pieces, and as they finish covering the tiny coffin with sand, they feel the last shreds of their hope for better, special, more fun buried with it.
Normally, at times like this, they're sure they'd go sit by themselves in their cave. Maybe poison would leak from their eyes, as it often does during times of stress. But that part of their life has changed, too. Now they're back at the school, instead, going to see their partner - something they never thought they'd ever have. And they certainly never would have imagined that partner would be Bort. They feel a familiar pang of guilt seeing their short-cut hair, but say nothing. They know Bort doesn't want to hear any more apologies from them. ]
... It's finished.
[ they don't meet Bort's eyes, nor do they stand particularly close - it's still hard for them - but there's no mistaking they're addressing their junior gem. ]
They think that more has happened today, and this past month or so, than has ever happened before in their entire existence - all 1000 years of it. Phos's return. Phos's plea. Phos's destruction. The words that mint-green gem carved into their chest all those summers ago never seemed more false and far away than they did when Cinnabar held a wooden box full of shards from their face in their hands, their gloves pulled carefully, gingerly tight so as not to hurt them even more. Cinnabar hadn't believed them. But Cinnabar had never wanted to believe someone more in their whole life. Now that belief is literally in pieces, and as they finish covering the tiny coffin with sand, they feel the last shreds of their hope for better, special, more fun buried with it.
Normally, at times like this, they're sure they'd go sit by themselves in their cave. Maybe poison would leak from their eyes, as it often does during times of stress. But that part of their life has changed, too. Now they're back at the school, instead, going to see their partner - something they never thought they'd ever have. And they certainly never would have imagined that partner would be Bort. They feel a familiar pang of guilt seeing their short-cut hair, but say nothing. They know Bort doesn't want to hear any more apologies from them. ]
... It's finished.
[ they don't meet Bort's eyes, nor do they stand particularly close - it's still hard for them - but there's no mistaking they're addressing their junior gem. ]

I ARRIVE!!!!!!!! also pretend i have short bort hair icons
They hear Cinnabar before they see them, the sounds of their steps - something they've made a point to memorize - prompting them to turn. With a single look, that trademark hard stare, Bort already has an inkling of what they might be thinking. But they're glad Cinnabar doesn't address it, doesn't say anything in regards to it. In a way it makes them relieved because it's progress, even if it's a little. ]
You're the last one to report back.
[ They stayed behind, after the other's left, just in case something like this happened. They've come to know their partner well - they've taken plenty of time to examine them as a whole (it's what a partner should do), made a point to remember specific gestures. What they want to comment on is why it took them so long, but instead they choose something different, something a little less forceful than what usually would come out of their mouth. ]
Everyone's buried their pieces, just like you said. It should keep that problem, [ Phos, their mind supplies bitterly. ] away from us.
HELL YEAH!!!! do you want some... i can make u some
They show the barest flinch at the word "problem," but they try to cover it with a nod, looking over at Bort in their usual uncertain way. ]
For a little while, anyway. [ they don't manage to sound as bitter as Bort. There's a melancholy in their voice. They hesitate, opening and shutting their mouth briefly, before continuing. ] I... Sorry that I took so long. I was...
[ ... upset? uncertain? They can't tell their junior they hesitated for so long because they didn't know how to say goodbye. Ostensibly, Phos is their enemy. But they can't think of what to say, and they trail off. ]
OMG....!!! i wuld luv some... ill happily add it to my collection (5 icons)
You need to focus more on what matters.
[ It's not Bort exactly scolding them - there's a tinge of worry and a good heart guiding those words, but their tone is still firm. While they have suspicions, it's none of their business as to why Cinnabar is so mournful about the subject. It only becomes their concern when it affects their partnership, and this is a warning towards that. ]
We need to stay vigilant, so you can't be getting distracted.
I WILL DEW IT!!! also murder is over i can tag regularly now... ye
[ they apologize again - probably their second greatest talent after overthinking things. So much for holding back on them with Bort. The other gem is right, of course. Phos shouldn't matter. Phos never mattered. They only lied, and foolishly got Cinnabar's hopes up - and, by doing so, eventually led to the destruction they're all still recovering from here. Most importantly, Phos is gone now - and they can't imagine even the Lunarians will be able to put them back together anytime soon. One less thing to worry about. In the back of their mind, they consider rather bitterly that battle-focused Bort probably sees this all as a positive - an enemy defeated - and they're not sure if they wish they were more like Bort, or Bort was more like them.
But that doesn't matter, either. There's a lot they don't know about Bort. And how could they? They don't know much about any of the other gems at all. For all they know, Bort's mourning Diamond and the others the same way they are - just in a more graceful manner. ]
I don't think the Lunarians will come back right away. This didn't appear to be a coordinated attack... and their appearances have been sporadic, anyway. It would have been easy for them to come down while we were doing all this. [ Cinnabar defaults to discussing facts to try and ease their nerves. Easier than discussing their feelings, at least. ] ... It just... feels strange.
[ phos coming down, alone, doing nothing. being destroyed by their fellow gems. in a way, Cinnabar supposes they did give them a job, and that makes them feel miserable. ]
me: arrives w starbucks
In their eyes, there is no sympathy for traitors. They know what they have done, consciously, and will face repercussions one way or another. Which is why they nod, something small, but firm. They don't disagree with that - it's exactly what they've been thinking this entire time. There must be some ulterior motive to all this.
Bort begins to walk ahead of Cinnabar, pace slow enough for them to catch onto what they want to do. And if that isn't enough, they tilt their head back towards their partner, a pointed look sent in their direction before the click of their shoes against the ground becomes stronger. ]
It was not an accident that Phos came down here, alone. [ That's why it feels strange. What with Phos pulling this stunt, allowing them the perfect chance to seal them away.. They narrow their eyes in thought. ] That means we should use this opportunity to prepare.
[ Just like how the Lunarians and the other gems, up on the moon, are doing. Cinnabar does make a point, they may not return immediately, but it is a certainty. If they thought Phos valuable, they'll surely want them back. Although that brings them to their next question, and their reminder of their offer to train Cinnabar (so they can take after Bort's ruthless ways on the field) - ]
Have you given thought to what I suggested?
[ They question, a slight quirk to their brow. ]
o shit!!
They should absolutely be preparing. There's not a chance that this is the end of things, even if it may be the end of Phos. That feeling returns, a tightness like the silver poison inside them is going to shatter their skin and overflow -- Cinnabar swallows it down and forces themself to think about Bort's words, instead. Work. Hard work is exactly what they need- just as Sensei always taught. ]
... I'm thinking about it. [ their eyes are off to the side again. ] Everyone knows I'm too weak to even hold a sword. There's probably nothing even you can do for me.
[ rather than biting, their tone is ashamed. ]
no subject
With that way of thinking, you won't be able to retain anything. [ It's certainly not harsh, the words that leave their mouth, but contemplative.
Some part of them wants to maintain that with hard work and persistence, anything is possible. And if Bort can see, plain as day, the potential they have on some level, it should be simple for them to see it. But they've learned that isolation has made Cinnabar different, and as their partner, it's up to them to help them acclimate to everything here.
It'd be cruel for them not to, and as much as they don't want to push Cinnabar too much, leaving them defenseless is not something they wish to do, either. As understanding as they are to their situation, there are external factors they have to consider - the Lunarians, and Cinnabar's own demeanor, for one. ]
I won't ask you to do anything I think you can't already accomplish by yourself.