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(houseki no kuni spoilers)
[ There's a lot to process.
They think that more has happened today, and this past month or so, than has ever happened before in their entire existence - all 1000 years of it. Phos's return. Phos's plea. Phos's destruction. The words that mint-green gem carved into their chest all those summers ago never seemed more false and far away than they did when Cinnabar held a wooden box full of shards from their face in their hands, their gloves pulled carefully, gingerly tight so as not to hurt them even more. Cinnabar hadn't believed them. But Cinnabar had never wanted to believe someone more in their whole life. Now that belief is literally in pieces, and as they finish covering the tiny coffin with sand, they feel the last shreds of their hope for better, special, more fun buried with it.
Normally, at times like this, they're sure they'd go sit by themselves in their cave. Maybe poison would leak from their eyes, as it often does during times of stress. But that part of their life has changed, too. Now they're back at the school, instead, going to see their partner - something they never thought they'd ever have. And they certainly never would have imagined that partner would be Bort. They feel a familiar pang of guilt seeing their short-cut hair, but say nothing. They know Bort doesn't want to hear any more apologies from them. ]
... It's finished.
[ they don't meet Bort's eyes, nor do they stand particularly close - it's still hard for them - but there's no mistaking they're addressing their junior gem. ]
They think that more has happened today, and this past month or so, than has ever happened before in their entire existence - all 1000 years of it. Phos's return. Phos's plea. Phos's destruction. The words that mint-green gem carved into their chest all those summers ago never seemed more false and far away than they did when Cinnabar held a wooden box full of shards from their face in their hands, their gloves pulled carefully, gingerly tight so as not to hurt them even more. Cinnabar hadn't believed them. But Cinnabar had never wanted to believe someone more in their whole life. Now that belief is literally in pieces, and as they finish covering the tiny coffin with sand, they feel the last shreds of their hope for better, special, more fun buried with it.
Normally, at times like this, they're sure they'd go sit by themselves in their cave. Maybe poison would leak from their eyes, as it often does during times of stress. But that part of their life has changed, too. Now they're back at the school, instead, going to see their partner - something they never thought they'd ever have. And they certainly never would have imagined that partner would be Bort. They feel a familiar pang of guilt seeing their short-cut hair, but say nothing. They know Bort doesn't want to hear any more apologies from them. ]
... It's finished.
[ they don't meet Bort's eyes, nor do they stand particularly close - it's still hard for them - but there's no mistaking they're addressing their junior gem. ]
no subject
With that way of thinking, you won't be able to retain anything. [ It's certainly not harsh, the words that leave their mouth, but contemplative.
Some part of them wants to maintain that with hard work and persistence, anything is possible. And if Bort can see, plain as day, the potential they have on some level, it should be simple for them to see it. But they've learned that isolation has made Cinnabar different, and as their partner, it's up to them to help them acclimate to everything here.
It'd be cruel for them not to, and as much as they don't want to push Cinnabar too much, leaving them defenseless is not something they wish to do, either. As understanding as they are to their situation, there are external factors they have to consider - the Lunarians, and Cinnabar's own demeanor, for one. ]
I won't ask you to do anything I think you can't already accomplish by yourself.