tunasub | OPEN POST 2023

[The action helps surprisingly more than the words, the simple act of an affirming touch, a connection between them despite everything, is more reassuring than words. Or words alone, at least. Her own hand comes up to hold it in her own, to marvel at the warmth of it.

Roxas was always warm. A radiant, brilliant warmth befitting of the light of his heart. It's hard not to feel at least a little eased by the action, and a smile tugs ever so slightly at her lips.]

I know, I know. But... My heart came from nothing too at first, didn't it? You were the one who made it real. Axel- Lea [She corrects herself sheepishly.] too. I just... I know they were vessels waiting to be filled, but it was other people who made me, me. It could be like that too. They have the potential to have their own heart.

[Maybe she's just rambling, maybe she's not making any sense. It's just hard to ease her worries entirely, the unique perspective of once being an empty vessel like the very body her heart is now housed in colouring her thoughts more than she should let it.]

[ Oh. She smiled a little. Just a little, but it's more than enough to bolster his confidence. Xion's smile is funny like that. He'd happily say as many embarrassing, inarticulate sentences as she needs to hear if it means he'll see it again. He'd do just about anything, really. Roxas can't help but brighten slightly, himself. ]

Yeah... I know. I get what you're saying. [ he looks thoughtful again. ] But I don't know what makes a new heart start to grow.

[ he won't pretend that he has all the answers, because boy, does he not have them, and they both know it. They've always been equals, more or less. It's one of the reasons she's so easy to talk to. Axel might have a better answer to this whole question -- but Xion asked him, not Axel, and he's grown enough to know that was on purpose. ]

Maybe... someone wanting you to be here is all it takes. Or wanting to be with someone. [ a wry smile, small but hopeful; he tilts his head at her. ] I guess you and me are lucky. Our hearts have each other.

Edited 2023-04-25 06:09 (UTC)

...

[Their hearts have each other... That's true, she remembers before she really existed, the draw and pull to Roxas that now she knows was because she was supposed to absorb him, replace him. It's not a pleasant reminder of their past, of her once ability to hurt him just by being around him, and she'd never known.

She remembers feeling so, so strong, when Roxas had been at his weakest, and he had been so tired. The strength she had then, pulled from him, but all she had wanted at the time was to protect him. To be with him.

They've always had each other. By her very nature, she was created both for and by him, for a myriad of reasons. Her hands ball into fists, and the tension reminds her that she's alive, and they can co-exist and not hurt each other simply by being anymore.

It doesn't answer her questions, but it does make her chest swell with fondness and warmth.]

That's not how it started out though, did it.

[A statement, not a question. What then, was the spark that gave her a life her own? What does it take for a puppet to grow a heart? She doesn't know, and there's no way Roxas could either. But it's the speculation that she wants to hear from him. She wants to know what he thinks makes a heart, she wants Roxas' opinion.]

[ he shakes his head with a small, pensive hum. No, it's not how it started. Like her, he has vague memories of how he was at the start, all hollow and empty - back then, Roxas figures he was close to what Xemnas kept insisting they all were. Shows him how wrong he was: look at him now. No, look at both of them.

But that's not the point. What's the difference between the old Roxas and Xion and the ones standing here now? He thinks hard. Not one of his greatest skills, admittedly - but if it's for her, he'll try his best at pretty much anything. ]

No... But when I think about it, I don't think you were ever "nothing." Even back at the start, you had feelings, even if they weren't yours. I was the same way. When we made new memories of our own, that's when we started to be... well, us. But even before that, it's like you already had part of a heart - the same one I did.

[ a pause. His hand drops from her shoulder to scratch the back of his head, somewhat sheepishly. They owe Sora a lot, upon reflection - he already knew that! - but moreover, he suddenly feels like what he's saying is sort of embarrassing. It's true, but still! ]

Like I said, right? It's you that makes it whole.

[Back at the start. When they were both still figuring themselves out, both of them finding their footing and testing, seeking, learning what they could and couldn't do. Roxas says that she wasn't "Nothing", that she still had feelings back then, but the distance between "Then" and "Now" is hazy, like a fog rolling in off the sea.

And yet, warmth blooms in her chest for his earnestness. Roxas doesn't know, and she doesn't know, but it's his speculation she wants. Not Axel- Lea's attempt at scrambling for answers that may or may not make sense. Besides, even between the three of them, it feels like her and Roxas are more similar to each other than him, as strange as that might be.

Both of them came from Sora. Maybe she hadn't ever been a Nobody like Roxas, but neither of them had memories or a past.

Maybe that's why she seeks his opinion on this ugly feeling that's burdened her for a few nights now. Roxas doesn't know either, but he's trying to understand what she's saying, and he's trying to put things together from what he knows.]

Maybe. But its still... It's hard not to feel like I'm taking up space that could have been someone else. That... Maybe my time has already come and gone, you know? I had my chance.

[ he shakes his head with a small, pensive hum. No, it's not how it started. Like her, he has vague memories of how he was at the start, all hollow and empty - back then, Roxas figures he was close to what Xemnas kept insisting they all were. Shows him how wrong he was: look at him now. No, look at both of them.

But that's not the point. What's the difference between the old Roxas and Xion and the ones standing here now? He thinks hard. Not one of his greatest skills, admittedly - but if it's for her, he'll try his best at pretty much anything. ]

No... But when I think about it, I don't think you were ever "nothing." Even back at the start, you had feelings, even if they weren't yours. I was the same way. When we made new memories of our own, that's when we started to be... well, us. But even before that, it's like you already had part of a heart - the same one I did.

[ a pause. His hand drops from her shoulder to scratch the back of his head, somewhat sheepishly. They owe Sora a lot, upon reflection - he already knew that! - but moreover, he suddenly feels like what he's saying is sort of embarrassing. It's true, but still! ]

Like I said, right? It's you that makes it whole.

OPEN POST 2023

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bababooey

looks at ur second, non-deleted bababooey with fondness. god i have such shit icons left rn

i said BABABOOEY