[ which of course she won't let go, so she looks up at him with a playful, wry smile ]
And you still blush when I tease you, so we're even, right?
[ She giggles, though, and doesn't tease him any more than that. If he weren't so tired, that kind of challenge would be enough for her to tease him more, and to the point that she might change her mind about not being in the mood for something more intimate... But, no, he needs to rest. Thankfully, she's also learned self-control after living with Garry, because oddly enough, it was rather difficult to go to work the next day after really quelling Diva's urges. How weird!! ]
I know, I do too. [ She laughs a little more as she closes her eyes ] Even if it's corny, I wish there were more so I could spend them with you. But this will have to do for now.
[ garry isn't man enough for your sexual appetite diva i'm sorry...
ironically, he blushes when she says that, and he tries to cover it up by flicking her forehead with a small laugh, sliding himself under the sheets after he's made his attack. Don't make fun of him, he's fragile! When he speaks again, though, his voice is softer and more genuine. ]
No, it's fine... I feel the same way. [ at least he's found himself with someone who lets him act as sappy as he desires. ] ... How are doing lately?
[ 'they' being their demonspawn, not spoken without a trace of guilt. He feels badly that he's not around as much as he should be. ]
[ But rather than get upset, she just scrunches her face up a little when he flicks her forehead, but she's clearly still smiling. Diva shakes her head with a giggle, and shifts as if she wants to be as close to Garry as possible. Which is true. ]
Oh, they're fine! They're both so smart, you know. I wish that they could have their cute little friends over, but they still don't understand that they're still kind of fond of biting someone when they're upset... [ But she laughs, remembering ] Actually, they got you last week, didn't she? I keep telling them that Daddy doesn't fix himself like Mommy, but they don't quite get it yet.
She sure did... [ he laughs a bit nervously - that mark is still healing. At least it was just his arm, so he could cover it up with long sleeves; it would be a little difficult to explain why he had a bite wound on his arm. Or maybe they'd just assume that Diva had given it to him. Which wasn't actually an unreasonable assumption, all things considered... He curls his arms around her affectionately, happy to get closer to her, and sighs against her hair. ] Well, at least they haven't caused any trouble yet at school...
[ one can imagine the heart attacks Garry's been having about loosing two tiny vampires into a kindergarten class. They could tell the teacher that they were a little bitey, but that didn't quite cover it... ]
[ She says it with a warm laugh, because she's not as concerned about it as Garry is. But that could be said of a lot of things about their life... ]
But they're good around everyone else, at least! They haven't bitten someone that isn't us in a long time, so they definitely understand that it's a secret now, at least. As long as they don't break something, we'll keep it a secret.
[ yeah really... he's used to her not worrying as much about this stuff as she probably should. But it's to be expected - she wasn't normal, herself, so she doesn't understand how things are supposed to go. ]
Let's not jinx it, now. I'm glad that they're getting better, though. [ because if something did happen, he has no idea what he'd do. Garry doesn't exactly have enough money for them to suddenly pack their bags and move somewhere else. ] This is hard... I don't even know if I was ready to be a father, let alone raise two little chiropterans...
[ a tired sigh. sorry, waifu, he's exhausted and stressed all the time... ]
[ hearing that... does make him happy, because he knows this is a far cry from the life Diva lived before coming back. That, and he doubts himself quite a bit as far as being a dad goes. His expression softens to something fonder, and he rolls over onto his side a bit to face her more properly once she's leaned back, reaching out a hand to brush through some of her hair. ]
Thank you... I don't mean to complain. To tell you the truth... I'm really happy. I only wish that I had more time to love all of you as much as you deserve.
[ Her smile turns a bit sad, and she looks back at him after a brief glance away. It's a topic that she's brought up once or twice before, but very rarely, since it's not something she particularly likes either. ]
...Well, it's not too late, you know. It'd be hard for a while, but you could always be my Chevalier. Just take a day or two off, and we can do it. Then we could all be together. For... Well, not forever, but for a long time.
[ Diva glances down ] I know you don't like it, but... Consider it, okay? I don't want to watch you grow old when I can't. You know?
[ he hadn't meant it quite so seriously - but apparently she'd been thinking about it, too, and he feels a pang of guilt for making that insinuation. The suggestion she makes is indeed one he's heard before; it's one he has a hard time considering. It's so difficult. Impossibly difficult. Especially when she puts it like that. But how is he supposed to make that kind of choice? No matter what, it feels like he'll lose something, and it's terrifying to even think about. Garry's expression settles into something distant and troubled; he shakes his head. ]
Let's not talk about that. It'll make me depressed... I meant all the work, really. [ trying to shake off the rather dark thoughts, he leans over, drawing his hand back from her hair to cup her cheek. ] I'd rather lay around with you like this.
[ She looks disappointed, briefly, but as soon as he cups her cheek, she's quick to smile again. The quickness may make it seem fake from anyone else, but for Diva, it's nothing but completely genuine. They're an affectionate couple (largely because of her), and her pleasure at being given that affection hasn't diminished at all over the years. ]
...Mm, then another time! We'll just snuggle for now.
[ my vampire wife can't be this cute etc. etc. ]
I prefer it too, really... [ She laughs ] Isn't there a job where you could just lay around with me all day? There should be.
[ 'my vampire wife can't be this cute' has basically been his life story for the past several years... also vampire children. And hey, don't discount Garry's part in that - he's pretty cuddly, too, and once he became more comfortable with her and he felt like he didn't have to hide their relationship so much, that side of him probably came out more. He props himself up a bit, leaning over her and brushing his thumb along her cheek. ]
There should be, [ he agrees warmly.
But he noticed that brief look of disappointment, and feels a little guilty for it. It's always been him who shuts down these conversations, because they are so heavy and he doesn't want to think about it. He hasn't really thought about Diva's feelings on the matter. Does she think about it often? Does she worry?
He's already reached his 30s. If he was going to take her up on her offer, he'd have to do it soon. He has to think about it sometime.
She'll undoubtedly notice his quietness after he says that, and the fading of his smile. After a moment, he speaks up again, carefully. ] ... Do you -- do you worry about it often...? What's going to happen to us, I mean...
[ She pauses too, but she's also (thankfully) grown out of lying for the sake of keeping Garry happy. Diva nods, then reaches to hold his hand. ]
I do. I can't help it. I know you hate it when I bring him up, but... [ She gives his hand a little squeeze. ]
Amshel always said that there were problems with associating with humans that are just practical. I know he was wrong about the associating part, but the practical parts... They're kind of true. It's been fine so far, but eventually, people will notice that I look the same in a way that's strange. You'll age, but I won't, and eventually, our girls will stop aging too. That's practical.
[ Her voice gets more gentle, but her grip on his hand tightens even more. By now, her strength has faded, since she no longer feeds on people directly, so it's not painful, but it's still tight. ] But more than that, I'd miss you, Garry. We all would. Without Sister here, who knows how long I'll even live? I could really be immortal, or even just living for hundreds of years... I've already lived for two centuries, so it feels like humans don't live long enough at all. I'll be by your side forever, but I guess it's selfish, since I want our "forevers" to be the same.
[ hearing it all from her directly like this - not in a moment of anger or sadness, just talking about it normally, and bringing up the points that he already thinks about... it hurts. It almost physically hurts. He feels his chest tighten and his brow crease, and his face becomes very troubled as he listens, though he links his hand with hers easily.
There was a time when he never would have believed that Diva could say such words and truly mean them. Fairy tale words, like staying together forever. She's still so pure of mind in some ways. Garry wishes that he could so earnestly believe in something like that, but even now, as much as he loves her, as much as he knows that what she's saying is true, it seems big and far away -- not real. ]
You're so sweet, [ he murmurs, closing his eyes, and wonders, as he does rather often, how he could possibly deserve a love like this. It's heavy, he supposes. For reasons just like this. ] ... I'm afraid of living forever. And if you turn me... I'm afraid that I'll change.
[ She admits that much easily, because it's a change that she's witnessed many times before. There were Chevalier that she had fancied, maybe even loved, briefly, before time passed and they became different people. She saw Solomon discard the last bits of his humanity, watched Karl descend into a deep madness, and stood by as Amshel became more and more overt about his manipulations as he became increasingly sure that Diva wouldn't leave him. She didn't want to see the same happen to Garry, because being a Chevalier was an awful thing. But it was also the only way to make sure that she wouldn't be left behind. ]
I don't want you to change, though. The human Garry, that's the one I love, and I don't really know how you'd change. I just love you so much that it makes me feel a little selfish.
[ She laughs warmly, nestling more against him. ] I wish I could be human, for you. I'd rather become human than make you my Chevalier. Our daughters too. Being a Chiropteran... It's always a little bit sad, I think.
[ she's mentioned the 'change' in her Chevalier to him before any of this even happened, before there was a choice to make at all, so he's not surprised by what she says to him or the bittersweet sound of her words. Somehow, hearing her laugh this time just makes a chill settle into his skin. Garry's posture weakens; he sighs and tries to concentrate on the fingers interwoven with his. ]
It is sad... I still remember it a little bit. [ it was a long time ago, but the memory is still painful, and probably always would be. That was a deep wound. But it wasn't the injury he should be concentrating on now - he should be looking towards the ones to come. ] But I don't know if it's sadder than leaving you alone.
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And you still blush when I tease you, so we're even, right?
[ She giggles, though, and doesn't tease him any more than that. If he weren't so tired, that kind of challenge would be enough for her to tease him more, and to the point that she might change her mind about not being in the mood for something more intimate... But, no, he needs to rest. Thankfully, she's also learned self-control after living with Garry, because oddly enough, it was rather difficult to go to work the next day after really quelling Diva's urges. How weird!! ]
I know, I do too. [ She laughs a little more as she closes her eyes ] Even if it's corny, I wish there were more so I could spend them with you. But this will have to do for now.
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ironically, he blushes when she says that, and he tries to cover it up by flicking her forehead with a small laugh, sliding himself under the sheets after he's made his attack. Don't make fun of him, he's fragile! When he speaks again, though, his voice is softer and more genuine. ]
No, it's fine... I feel the same way. [ at least he's found himself with someone who lets him act as sappy as he desires. ] ... How are doing lately?
[ 'they' being their demonspawn, not spoken without a trace of guilt. He feels badly that he's not around as much as he should be. ]
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Oh, they're fine! They're both so smart, you know. I wish that they could have their cute little friends over, but they still don't understand that they're still kind of fond of biting someone when they're upset... [ But she laughs, remembering ] Actually, they got you last week, didn't she? I keep telling them that Daddy doesn't fix himself like Mommy, but they don't quite get it yet.
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[ one can imagine the heart attacks Garry's been having about loosing two tiny vampires into a kindergarten class. They could tell the teacher that they were a little bitey, but that didn't quite cover it... ]
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[ She says it with a warm laugh, because she's not as concerned about it as Garry is. But that could be said of a lot of things about their life... ]
But they're good around everyone else, at least! They haven't bitten someone that isn't us in a long time, so they definitely understand that it's a secret now, at least. As long as they don't break something, we'll keep it a secret.
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Let's not jinx it, now. I'm glad that they're getting better, though. [ because if something did happen, he has no idea what he'd do. Garry doesn't exactly have enough money for them to suddenly pack their bags and move somewhere else. ] This is hard... I don't even know if I was ready to be a father, let alone raise two little chiropterans...
[ a tired sigh. sorry, waifu, he's exhausted and stressed all the time... ]
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[ She leans up and gives his cheek a kiss, warm and lingering rather than a quick peck. ]
But you're a good father. You're better than what I could have ever hoped for them. [ A little smile, but it's almost shy ] And me too.
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Thank you... I don't mean to complain. To tell you the truth... I'm really happy. I only wish that I had more time to love all of you as much as you deserve.
[ in both the short and long-term senses. ]
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...Well, it's not too late, you know. It'd be hard for a while, but you could always be my Chevalier. Just take a day or two off, and we can do it. Then we could all be together. For... Well, not forever, but for a long time.
[ Diva glances down ] I know you don't like it, but... Consider it, okay? I don't want to watch you grow old when I can't. You know?
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Let's not talk about that. It'll make me depressed... I meant all the work, really. [ trying to shake off the rather dark thoughts, he leans over, drawing his hand back from her hair to cup her cheek. ] I'd rather lay around with you like this.
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...Mm, then another time! We'll just snuggle for now.
[ my vampire wife can't be this cute etc. etc. ]
I prefer it too, really... [ She laughs ] Isn't there a job where you could just lay around with me all day? There should be.
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There should be, [ he agrees warmly.
But he noticed that brief look of disappointment, and feels a little guilty for it. It's always been him who shuts down these conversations, because they are so heavy and he doesn't want to think about it. He hasn't really thought about Diva's feelings on the matter. Does she think about it often? Does she worry?
He's already reached his 30s. If he was going to take her up on her offer, he'd have to do it soon. He has to think about it sometime.
She'll undoubtedly notice his quietness after he says that, and the fading of his smile. After a moment, he speaks up again, carefully. ] ... Do you -- do you worry about it often...? What's going to happen to us, I mean...
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I do. I can't help it. I know you hate it when I bring him up, but... [ She gives his hand a little squeeze. ]
Amshel always said that there were problems with associating with humans that are just practical. I know he was wrong about the associating part, but the practical parts... They're kind of true. It's been fine so far, but eventually, people will notice that I look the same in a way that's strange. You'll age, but I won't, and eventually, our girls will stop aging too. That's practical.
[ Her voice gets more gentle, but her grip on his hand tightens even more. By now, her strength has faded, since she no longer feeds on people directly, so it's not painful, but it's still tight. ] But more than that, I'd miss you, Garry. We all would. Without Sister here, who knows how long I'll even live? I could really be immortal, or even just living for hundreds of years... I've already lived for two centuries, so it feels like humans don't live long enough at all. I'll be by your side forever, but I guess it's selfish, since I want our "forevers" to be the same.
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There was a time when he never would have believed that Diva could say such words and truly mean them. Fairy tale words, like staying together forever. She's still so pure of mind in some ways. Garry wishes that he could so earnestly believe in something like that, but even now, as much as he loves her, as much as he knows that what she's saying is true, it seems big and far away -- not real. ]
You're so sweet, [ he murmurs, closing his eyes, and wonders, as he does rather often, how he could possibly deserve a love like this. It's heavy, he supposes. For reasons just like this. ] ... I'm afraid of living forever. And if you turn me... I'm afraid that I'll change.
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[ She admits that much easily, because it's a change that she's witnessed many times before. There were Chevalier that she had fancied, maybe even loved, briefly, before time passed and they became different people. She saw Solomon discard the last bits of his humanity, watched Karl descend into a deep madness, and stood by as Amshel became more and more overt about his manipulations as he became increasingly sure that Diva wouldn't leave him. She didn't want to see the same happen to Garry, because being a Chevalier was an awful thing. But it was also the only way to make sure that she wouldn't be left behind. ]
I don't want you to change, though. The human Garry, that's the one I love, and I don't really know how you'd change. I just love you so much that it makes me feel a little selfish.
[ She laughs warmly, nestling more against him. ] I wish I could be human, for you. I'd rather become human than make you my Chevalier. Our daughters too. Being a Chiropteran... It's always a little bit sad, I think.
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It is sad... I still remember it a little bit. [ it was a long time ago, but the memory is still painful, and probably always would be. That was a deep wound. But it wasn't the injury he should be concentrating on now - he should be looking towards the ones to come. ] But I don't know if it's sadder than leaving you alone.