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MISTLETOE MEME REDUX
the mistletoe meme
you know what to do. whether it's magic compulsion (feat. magical attraction or not), that you're trapped until you kiss, or just tradition and social pressure, you've been caught under the mistletoe and that means you have to kiss.
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(the short end of the stick - as if she'd ever let anyone else get this close to her - as if doing this won't hurt the both of them later - as if it really "won't mean anything" when she knows damn well she's terrible at keeping her feelings out of her work.)
Denying it more than this would be suspicious, though. He's right, logically speaking. She hates that. She hates it almost as much as the fact that, despite everything, there's a part of her that's okay with this outcome. Somehow, there are still pieces of her that are soft and vulnerable, and she hates that most of all. 2B is silent for a long few seconds, expression unreadable. ]
... Fine. For the sake of the mission.
[ ... she doesn't actually move towards him or anything, though. She has no idea how she should tackle this. ]
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Great.
[ He's careful not to sound eager -- and really, eager isn't the right word for his feeling about the situation. He likes being with 2B. He enjoys spending time with her more than anyone else. So if he has to think about kissing someone, she naturally comes first to mind. But it's only ever been a wisp of an idea, an entertaining thought experiment; their relationship isn't of that nature, and he would never do anything to disturb the quiet comfort between them. He's more than happy with what they have already, as formless and indescribable as it is.
2B clearly has reservations. That, too, makes this an awkward spot. But that pesky curiosity of his -- it's a bit much even for himself sometimes -- keeps him from even attempting to suggest any alternative plans. What is it like to kiss someone? What makes it such a big deal? His body still feels restless at the prospect, like it knows something he doesn't.
(Underneath it all, he's distantly aware that he's fooling himself. Curiosity about kissing and curiosity about kissing 2B are two different things.)
... In any case. There she is. 2B hasn't made a move yet, so after a moment of hesitation, 9S steps closer to her. Just a little. They've been closer in the past, but somehow every remaining inch between them looks its own battle. ]
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I just need to get this over with. That's all. She convinces herself of that, then takes a step towards him herself - then another, until there's only a foot or two between them. The click of her heels sounds horribly loud in the silence of the room; her frail conviction in this matter starts crumbling again as soon as she starts moving, and by the time she's standing before him, she's back to not knowing what she should do. Not that she doesn't know how a kiss works - she's never done it, never had much of an interest in those sorts of relationships with her fellow androids, but theoretically, it doesn't seem particularly difficult.
But throw 9S into the mix, and she's suddenly frozen in place. Fear, nerves, guilt, they all intertwine; she opens her mouth like she's going to say something - I can't do this, probably - before closing it, the very slight shift in the cant of her head suggesting she's not quite managing to look at him. ]
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He can't help finding her a little funny. Entertaining, even. For someone who tries so hard to sound gruff and emotionless, she betrays herself so easily with her actions. It's fun to watch her now as much as ever, so even if this situation is awkward and embarrassing, he has time enough to be captivated by her. It's tempting to stay still and see how far she'll be able to take this on her own.
But in the end, he takes pity on her. It's funny too that he even feels in a position to pity her; it must be her shyness that gives him courage. He even feels cheerful enough for a gentle bit of teasing. The corners of his mouth tip up into a smile. ]
Aw, come on, 2B. Don't tell me you're actually the bashful type.
[ Though he already knew that about her. She never seems to know what to do with herself in soft situations.
He takes that last step between them. She looks so stiff and unwont to move, and he isn't sure how this type of thing usually goes, so he just does the first thing that makes sense to him, which is to lift his hand to the base of her jaw (gently, as if touching her too suddenly might scare her into calling this whole thing off) to try and guide her attention back toward him. He'd feel weird(er) about trying to kiss someone not even looking his way. ]
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That's not it, [ she says, quietly; she tries to sound annoyed, but her voice lacks its usual sting. Bashful. It would be nice if that's all it was. She's afraid. And she resents herself for not being able to stop this, for being drawn in by his smile and his soft touch, like a moth to a flame.
She finds herself gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder. If this has to happen -- it would be nice if it could be a good memory, a good experience for 9S, even if he's destined to lose it. She justifies it that way in her mind, wishing that there wasn't still a part of her that just wanted to touch him back, that feels the tails of his blindfold brush her fingers and wonders if she should take it off because she wants to see his eyes. If only it would stop coming back. ]
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It's okay. She's entitled to her secrets. It doesn't change his affection for her. Besides, that clumsy self-expression is part of her charm.
There's something too in that flinch of hers, but he doesn't withdraw his hand. He's more interested in seeing how she slowly gives in, fighting whatever battle is going on in her mind. And he can't say why, but it's just nice to be able to touch her face.
Her hand on his shoulder is delicate, and distracting. His smile eases away, only a hint remaining. It's now or never. He shifts a little closer to her. Out of necessity, of course, as he isn't really in the position to be bending over to reach her. He tips up onto his toes, and his hand slides to the back of her neck to press her closer -- a suggestion that she bend to help him out here. Her face is so close. He begins to lean in... but pauses short of the last few inches between them. A last chance for her to change her mind... and a last test of curiosity, to see if she'll meet him halfway. ]
that icon.... i'll kill you
She leans down at his urging, hesitant, ostensibly shy - or maybe actually shy; she doesn't know where one set of anxieties ends and the other begins. He's waiting for her to take the last step. Her fingertips curl into the fabric of his coat and the small frame of his shoulders. She shuts her eyes behind the goggles.
But she can't do it. Even if she wants to - no, especially because she wants to. She doesn't have the right to even stand this close to him when it's all a lie that will come crashing down on him later. And yet she can't back away, either. Always trapped in this orbit, simultaneously too close and too far. She leans in enough for her nose to brush his; then she tilts her head away again, barely, retreating a heartbeat away. ]
sorry for the lateness!! i died when you killed me
So even if her nerves are getting the better of her, he lets this moment linger. He harbors no illusion that they'll ever be this close again, as close as they could possibly be. If only he could rest against her. If only he could hold her with both hands. But that's a barrier he dare not breach. This is only a passing moment, and their relationship can't be of that nature.
So it's bittersweet when he finally does move to kiss her, lagging, knowing that afterward they'll have to draw apart. He's conscious of having to tilt his head so that their noses don't bump again, and close as they are, it's a soft movement. Here, more questions arise (is he supposed to do something with his mouth? what's the protocol on duration?) but he settles on studying 2B's reaction as his lips touch simply against hers. ]
that was my christmas present to you. murder
So she wonders why she wants to, not for the first time. It doesn't make sense for unit 2E's systems to be struck silent by the softness of another's lips or the heat of his breath. If emotions are forbidden, she shouldn't be feeling this longing, this painful flash of happiness, or the prick of tears threatening to spill from behind her eyes. She's defective. She's as useless to YoRHa for these unnecessary feelings as she is to 9S for her loyalty to them. But she made a promise to continue her useless existence -- for his sake. And, in the end, she cares more about what he wants than anything else in this damned world.
Even if he doesn't know or remember.
The grip on his shoulder tightens, almost painfully. He might be surprised when she presses back against him. It's very hesitant, and a little clumsy, but 2B kisses him back. She shouldn't, but she can't stop herself; amidst the pain and regret, her mind is flooded with memories of him and his smile, his simple presence at her side, and with a feeling she doesn't dare assign a name to. ]
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Humans seemed to enjoy this. 9S isn't certain he's experiencing "fun" at the moment as much as very compartmentalized panic. But it isn't unpleasant. He's in no rush to draw away. There's something unexpectedly personal in her imperfect reciprocation, and he's helplessly attracted to that small window into her inner self. She's always stifling herself. It may be that she's never exposed herself so fully; it may be that he's experiencing the most of her anyone ever will.
Again, he has a lot of questions about what he's supposed to do now. If it were up to him, if he could throw all caution to the wind and not worry about what 2B would think, he'd kiss her again. There wouldn't be much logical reason to it, except to see if they could manage to do it a little less awkwardly than the first time. Maybe it gets more enjoyable when you do it right. Truly, kissing her again would only be an indulgence. Their bodies against each other, the tender touch of her lips -- it feels like some part of her belongs to him in this moment, and a buried voice in him clamors for more. Selfish. Possessive.
Unreasonable. He knows that. Thankfully, he's saved from having to wrestle any more with himself when a friendly ding! chimes from the locked door, and a small red light beside it flips to green. ]
BOBA THIS IS SO LATE I'M SORRY I LOVE THIS THREAD I JUST SUCK!!!
In a just world, she could focus on that alone - 9S, not an iteration or a liability or a target, just another android, just a boy, existing in this world with her, sharing this strange, awkward, pleasant experience with her - but she can't, and even when she thinks for a second she can almost forget the rest, the mechanism on the door unlocks with a ding and reminds her that she can't. For the sake of the mission. She has duties, and she must attend to them. Nothing else can matter.
2B is slower to part from him than she should be, given her reluctance to do this in the first place. When the sound goes off, she lingers just a second longer than she should rather than jolting away. But she does move away, straightening back up, her unconscious vice-grip on his shoulder relenting (with some guilt on her part, realizing she'd been holding him so tightly.) They did it. It's over. Her eyes feel a little damp behind her goggles, and she hopes hollowly that dampness didn't bleed through the material.
Something hurts inside, knowing this can't be again. She feels it setting in immediately. She's a fool. Without a word, or even a glance, she steps around him, heels clicking as she starts heading straight for the door. Focus on the mission. That's all she needs to do. ]