tunasub | MISTLETOE MEME REDUX

[ under normal circumstances, kiryu would be irked, at the very least, by that attack on his intelligence. but he can't exactly argue with nishiki on the matter of his emotional intelligence—not when it's so clearly upset nishiki, and upset himself in turn. he doesn't like that frown, never has—it doesn't suit nishiki at all, who should be playful and confident and animated as a foil to kiryu's............. kiryu-ness. that's all anyone can really call it.

he doesn't even bother trying to think up a verbal response this time, because clearly, good things only happen when he keeps his mouth shut and has his actions speak for him instead. with a small grunt, he pushes himself into a standing position and shuffles over to nishiki's side of the kotatsu. instead of taking a seat beside his oath brother, though, he sits behind him and wraps his arms around nishiki, pressing his forehead into his back, strong brow nestled between his shoulder blades.

only this close does he notice that nishiki... smells nice. not in a creepy way, but like, in a "wow, this person feels like comfort, like home" one? is that weird of him to think? ... either way, he realizes saying that kind of thing would definitely ruin the moment, so he chooses to stay silent, lets himself relax against nishiki's familiar shape. ]

Hey, what're you...

[ he sits up a little straighter when Kiryu suddenly gets to his feet, head lifting to follow him as he moves, and Nishiki honestly has no idea what he's doing until he's already halfway through doing it. He can't help jumping at the unexpected embrace (unexpected, despite the fact that he had his eyes fixed over his shoulder watching his oath brother move), and the color rushes right back into his cheeks, fingers curling nervously into the kotatsu blanket. ]

Oi, Kiryu...

[ does this count as an answer?! Nishikiyama isn't convinced. It's not like it's the first time they've been this close; it is, however, the first time they've been this close with the added caveat of Nishiki having obliquely expressed his feelings a few moments ago. Kiryu will find the muscles of his back stiff and nervous, relaxing effects of the alcohol be damned, and the question hangs in the air, Nishiki frozen in his seat and waiting for the other shoe to drop. ]

[ once again, kiryu refuses to speak—probably for the best, because he legitimately is still just thinking about the fondness he feels thanks to nishiki's familiar scent, and i refuse to type that out in actual fuckin dialogue, even though that's far from the strangest and/or most homoerotic thing you as a player can have kiryu say in canon. you can't make me.

instead, he just leans further into nishiki's back, letting a small hum of reassurance, of approval out of his otherwise reticent lips. the most accurate way to describe the way kiryu embraces nishiki now is... cuddling, honestly, as he turns his head slightly to rest his cheek against nishiki's back.

"let this be the answer i can't really articulate" is the sentiment he hopes his actions get across. ]

[ coward

maybe Kiryu is still drunk and sleepy, and that's why he's doing this. No, Nishikiyama knows for a fact that he's drunk and sleepy - he just wishes he knew if this meant something or if drunken Kiryu has just gotten tired of the conversation and decided to use him as a pillow. "Subtlety" isn't a word in the guy's dictionary, as far as Nishiki knows, and so he's hesitant to assume anything about what he's doing means anything more than exactly what it is. Especially after he just got burned.

Left with no other recourse, Nishiki laughs awkwardly, a mixture of confusion and flusterment. ]

Oi... I'm trying to have a conversation with you. What are you doing? Seriously... You drank too much, bro.

[ "really, though, what are you doing," is unspoken. other than hugging him like a pillow, which is... it's okay. Yeah. He casts an eye over his shoulder again, but it's not like he can really see Kiryu's face from this angle - just a Kiryu-shaped lump that he can feel snuggled up close against his back, anyway. ]

[ ... he can't exactly blame nishiki for thinking he's still buzzed enough to not be able to think clearly, but it still annoys him, for real this time. his face actually turned into a legitimate frown now, he lightly headbutts nishiki's back, in a way that would be almost childish if he wasn't as strong as he was; it probably causes a small—but noticeable—amount of pain, because, well... that's the dragon of dojima for you.

but he doesn't move once he's made contact with nishiki's body, his forehead now nestled somewhere closer to the nape of his neck than the middle of his shoulders. instead, after a poignant silence for a few more seconds, his face muscles relax and he finally remembers how to talk, letting out a mumbled, ]

............m'sorry.

[ with where he's currently positioned, his words are slightly muffled against nishiki's back, somewhat lost to the collar of his wine-colored jacket.

god, they're a mess. ]

-- Ow! What the hell?

[ WHY. He flinches again, and very seriously considers turning around and giving him a knock in the head for doing that (because that's what they're good at, fighting like idiots), but he refrains, if only because he's in too weird a position for Nishiki to easily hit him. The fact that Kiryu just stays in that spot afterwards gives him pause, too. He can't make out what he said, exactly - sounded vaguely apologetic, which, good - but he can't really concentrate, either, with the vibrations from Kiryu's baritone mumble close enough to his skin to send a shiver up his spine.

Urgh. This is stupid.

He sits there in silence for a few more seconds, too, the tips of his ears showing red where they peek through his hair. Fuck, he needs to say something, this is weird! He doesn't like being in limbo like this, but Kiryu's apparently the worst person in the world when it comes to this kind of thing - Nishiki's already been about as direct as he can manage tonight, with a bit of liquid courage helping him out, but, somehow, he still has no goddamn clue what's going through Kiryu's mind. His sneaking suspicion is "nothing." Which is annoying, but typical. Eventually, he ventures: ]

... Is this you answering my question? [ not him taking a drunken nap? ]

[ he hums again into nishiki's neck, bowing his head in a stoic nod. it's clear from nishiki's questioning answer that his previous sentiment didn't quite make it through... so with a quiet sigh, he pulls back from the comfort of nishiki's warmth and breaks his silence proper. ]

... I'm sorry I didn't understand what you were trying to say or do. But I do now.

[ he pauses, wondering what else he could do to make his stance on the matter more clear (because he won't just say it, goddamn it, that's too simple and fuck you kiryu kazuma, you dumb dense motherfucker)...

before nishiki starts thinking he's fallen asleep again, he finally settles on taking his arms away from nishiki's body. that lack of contact lasts less than a second, though, for he instead drapes them over his oath brother's shoulders, crosses them atop his best friend's collarbone.

and he murmurs, ]

...Nishiki.

[ oh.

okay.

Yeah, it hurts that Kiryu hasn't been sneaking guilty looks at him the way Nishiki has. It doesn't really occur to him until he starts talking again that rather than actively not thinking of him that way, Kiryu might have just never even considered it - never noticed. Of course he didn't - he's denser than lead. Until now, that is, when Nishiki threw the concept in his face as a "joke." And when he considered it...?

As if Kiryu hasn't reciprocated enough times tonight to prove his point -- maybe Nishiki's been a bit too vulnerable, showed his hand too many times in how much reassurance he's been seeking that he's not exactly the cool and confident guy he tries to be, but, hell, either Kiryu's managed not to notice that, too, or he already knows and doesn't care. It doesn't matter either way. For the first time since he walked in the door, Nishikiyama actually lets his guard down a little, lets his shoulders slump, even as Kiryu winds his arms around them and his heartrate spikes. The details can wait. All he needs to know is that everything will be fine - and, as it turns out, everything is better than fine. His face is burning when Kiryu calls his name, but he still dares himself to turn halfway, nose almost brushing against his more-than-best-friend's. ]

I just wanna be with you, man.

[ when nishiki relaxes, so too does kiryu—because he had started to worry that maybe nishiki did begin to resent him for missing such obvious cues, that maybe more than ten years of kiryu's special brand of ignorance and idiocy was more than enough for a single person to handle, much less fall in love with. but he's so, so glad that isn't the case.

though nishiki has apparently had these feelings for a while but it's brand new territory for kiryu, he doesn't want it to seem like that means he's any less serious about this than nishiki is. whether it's a decision he makes over the course of several weeks or in a split second, kiryu kazuma does not so easily back down or change his mind once it's set. so, he purposely touches nishiki's nose with his for a moment as he unwinds one arm from its current perch, then sets it on nishiki's forearm with fingers splayed. ]

I wouldn't choose anyone else but you.

Didn't know you were such a cornball.

[ it's spoken quietly, a breathless laugh, a way of hiding how deeply hearing those words shakes him. Nishiki's always tried so hard to keep up with him or even outpace him. He knows, of course, that Kiryu treasures him - they're sworn brothers, after all, and that's not a bond forged lightly. Still, to be acknowledged like this by him, so directly, so personally -- it puts him over the moon, and the twinkle in his eyes betrays the sincere happiness he tries to conceal. Nishiki is always wishing the world would look his way for once; Kiryu is always the only one who ever has. Maybe that's why he feels the way he does.

There's no mistletoe this time, and the aftertaste of alcohol is less an influence and more a pleasant, fluffy backdrop. Nishikiyama kisses him again. It's short, sweet, quiet, completely at odds with the charming gangster who always seems to have a cabaret girl within arms' reach on the Kamurocho streets - but perfectly fitting for a college-age guy who, frankly, still isn't quite sure how to properly romance his best buddy, but is pretty sure he means it. He turns under Kiryu's arms enough to put a steadying hand on his chest, his palm wide and warm and probably a little sweaty from nerves; he thinks, briefly, that Kiryu's eyelashes are kinda long, and he never noticed, but then his own eyes are closed, and he'll have to think about it some other time, because he can't think of anything but this right now. ]

[ kiryu could fire back, but before he can react, nishiki's lips are pressed against his again, and he decides he's fine with this, actually. when nishiki shifts to face him, kiryu moves his arm back to meet its counterpart, hanging both of them off nishiki's shoulders. as the kiss continues, kiryu quietly marvels at how nice it feels to have the warmth of nishiki's musculature under his touch like this instead of during an immature brawl over something stupid like one of them stiffing the other 2000 yen they could've sworn was promised to them after a long night of drinking. it's a nice change—a welcome one, even.

there's only so long that kiryu can keep it going without taking a breath, though—even then, he's sure the warm and dizzying feeling in his chest isn't because of booze consumed in what feels like another lifetime at this point. he may take his lips away from nishiki's, but he does not completely break the physicality between them so easily; he presses their foreheads together, letting out only shallow breaths for a few short moments before speaking aloud. ]

So... will you let me sleep now?

[ ... sure, most of kiryu's tone is cheeky and teasing, but there's also a hint of actual, long-suffering exhaustion finally setting in. though it's had a happy ending, it's still been A Day. ]

[ It does feel like another lifetime. Nishikiyama has practically forgotten that it's technically Christmas by now and what he's doing is some cliche shit straight out of a bad manga. Not that he cares - fuck it, let something cliche and good happen to him for once. Kiryu feels unseasonably warm against him, and his lips are unexpectedly soft, and even if he doesn't really know how to kiss, Nishiki is completely swept up in them, anyway, reveling in the attention and in the affection growing stronger in him with every heartbeat. He loves Kiryu. Yeah, he does. He knows it already. But it's not the time to say that. When Kiryu pulls away, Nishikiyama's eyes and smile are so soft and open that he'd be embarrassed to see himself if he knew. The question makes him chuckle, and he sits back, too, putting some distance between them. ]

Yeah. Yeah, all right. You take the bed, though. It's your house.

[ the idea of sharing the bed doesn't actually cross his mind, amazingly, which is probably a testament to how new all these feelings are more than anything. ]

[ as he gazes upon nishiki's face, with all that open affection directed toward him even as nishiki moves away, kiryu smiles so goddamn fondly—he doesn't think he's ever seen him this happy in all the years he's known him.

then, after a moment (because, y'know, kiryu), he realizes nishiki is only this happy because of him, and his eyes grow wide. he's aware he has some sort of special effect on people, even if only because he hears it enough from those he helps that it'd be pretty impressive to not know... but those people aren't his oath brother, who's been by his side longer than anyone else. it's different. he can't quite put his finger on it...

eh, he'll worry about it later. (it's probably, you know, love. but. kiryu.)

he takes his eyes off nishiki for the briefest moment to shoot a glance at the possibilities for lodging configurations. ]

Thinking about it... we can both fit.

[ sure, he still lives in a modest apartment and doesn't really own anything too flashy, but all that money he'd earned alongside tachibana hadn't gone to waste. bitch owns more than a sorry single occupant futon now!!! ]

-- Uh, are you...

[ Kiryu definitely just invited him into bed with him - and, for a blessed, stupid second, his mind goes totally blank. How the fuck does he respond?! He's not ready, but he can't say that, how uncool -- wait, how is Kiryu ready for that -- wait, there's no way Kiryu's ready for that. Wait. He's getting ahead of himself. Nishikiyama trails off, hopes Kiryu didn't notice how he almost tripped over himself mentally there, then shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. Be cool. ]

You're okay with that? We're a lot bigger than we were back in Himawari. Might not be that comfortable.

[ two ten year old boys squishing into the same bed at night was a much simpler affair... ]

[ it's fine, because only after the words are out of his mouth does kiryu himself realize what he unintentionally implied, and he has his own moment of fleeting self-consciousness. it's much more subdued than nishiki's, of course—but the important thing is that he's wrapped up in it enough to not notice much else.

so, he completely buys nishiki being cool, while he tries to play off being his usual aloof self. idiots. ]

... It'll be fine. Besides, we'll just be up all night arguing over this otherwise.

[ good job, everyone...

he opens his mouth to protest, then realizes that arguing about not arguing is kind of proving Kiryu's point, so he shuts it, sighing and sitting back on his hands. The room spins a little. Yeah, he should probably sleep, even if he's not really looking forward to waking up... and he's surprised for a moment at how everything just feels normal again. ]

Fine... Not like I'm gonna complain. It's freaking cold out.

[ even getting out from under the kotatsu sounds kind of miserable, although he's already halfway out of it due to wanting to get closer to Kiryu. Nishiki forces himself to do it, anyway, getting to his feet with a groan and proceeding to shuffle off his jacket. ]

[ when nishiki opens his mouth, kiryu just stares at him pointedly; thankfully, it doesn't go any further than that, so kiryu just nods in acknowledgement as he stands up, too, taking off his own blazer before stretching to get his circulation going again.

as he straightens back up and makes his way over to prep the bed for the both of them, he notices nishiki taking off his jacket out of the corner of his eye... hm. without a second thought, he veers off course to make that detour toward nishiki, placing his hands on his shoulders. ]

Here—I'll take it.

[ as usual, he sees nothing out of the ordinary with helping to take off his best friend/sworn brother/boyfriend?????'s jacket; to him, it's but a simple show of caring and thoughtfulness. it's his house, after all—he's just being a good host? ]

[ wow, look at Kiryu, trying to be a good host and shit... He raises an eyebrow in dry amusement, although he hands off his jacket, anyway. Nishikiyama was really just going to throw it on the floor. Because he's an animal. ]

Wow. The service around here's gotten better since the last time I came. [ he can't help himself... but it does feel nice to have Kiryu treating him special, and he gives him a smile. ] Thanks.

[ Weird... but nice. This is reality now, huh? He stares off after Kiryu for a second or two longer than he would if he was sober, then huffs a breath through his nose, undoing a few buttons on his shirt and flopping back down onto the futon. ]

Oh yeah... Merry Christmas, Kiryu. I almost forgot.

[ as kiryu takes nishiki's jacket, he rolls his eyes and jabs lightly at his side. ]

Never mind, get out of my bed.

[ it's an empty threat, of course, because as soon as kiryu sets the jacket neatly on a part of his table that somehow isn't covered in empty cans and instant noodle cups, he fully unbuttons his shirt so he can shrug both it and his own jacket off in a single motion. it goes right on top of nishiki's clothes, then kiryu follows suit and sits down next to nishiki.

and... raises an eyebrow in surprise. that's the whole reason they got into all of this in the first place, isn't it... wild. ]

Ah... merry Christmas, Nishiki.

[ ... which he follows up with a soft scratch to his cheek, his eyes flicking up to nishiki's eyes, then down to his lips, then rinse and repeat. are they... supposed to kiss after exchanging holiday greetings like this... even though they kissed a lot already... is there a daily kiss quota or something... wadda fuck ]

[ Nishiki kind of feels like he should be more awkward about Kiryu taking off his shirt in this situation, but the two of them are shirtless around each other so often that it doesn't even really register. Or maybe he's just too drunk to care that much. The snow's still falling outside, and he doesn't trust the walls of Kiryu's crappy apartment to insulate the two of them all that well, so for the moment, his shirt's staying on. Tragic.

It's hard not to notice the awkward staring. But it does feel sort of refreshing to not be the awkward one tonight, for once - after all's said and done, he's feeling pretty good right now, actually. So he just stares back for a few seconds. Then, grinning, he reaches out a hand and playfully pushes Kiryu's face away. ]

What're you staring at? There something on my face?

[ no, he knows exactly what kiryu was thinking about, because he was thinking about it too... ]

[ kiryu knows his own apartment, of course, so he knows the inside temperature will be fine for him... but to each his own, he supposes. nishiki's touch brings him out of his little gay crisis, though, even if it turns his cheeks a faint pink and has him stammering just a little. nishiki is so cool about this, in comparison... ]

No. Just... [ after a quick shake of his head, he fixes his gaze solidly on nishiki's eyes. ] I'm glad I didn't leave you hanging earlier.

[ what a loser... anyway basically what i'm saying is this is your chance to be the initiator, nishiki!! ]

[ Seeing Kiryu get flustered by him is shockingly rewarding, actually. And kind of... cute. Nishikiyama feels weird even thinking that word in relation to a beefy yakuza with the stoniest glare in Kamurocho, but that is precisely the word that comes to mind. He's never saying it, ever.

The expectant gaze is pretty hard to resist, too. He figured Kiryu was just going to flop down and pass out... Nishiki's impish smile turns a little more sincere. ]

Yeah... Me too. I'm glad I was stupid enough to try.

[ he'd better not leave Kiryu hanging, either - he wants to kiss him again, right? After a second of hesitation - because it's still hard to believe this is just something he can do now - he closes in and meets his lips one more time. It's nothing more than a brief peck, though. Then the hand on his shoulder is pushing him down onto the bed harmlessly. ]

Now go to sleep already. You're the one who can barely keep his eyes open.

[ it's so nice, so affirming when nishiki kisses him this time. of course they were thinking the same thing, even without exchanging a single word explicitly. it's natural; it's right. nishiki'll feel kiryu's lips curl into a small, warm smile before he pulls away, one that stays even after contact is broken. ]

Mm... 'night, bro.

[ he lets himself be pushed, settling contentedly without any resistance. when nishiki joins him in lying down, he'll find kiryu's hand hesitantly reaching out to rest upon his arm... then slowly letting it slide over until kiryu's whole arm is loosely wrapped around him. let the christmas spooning begin ]

MISTLETOE MEME REDUX

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